From a stranger...

Always and forever,
this feeling will linger.
But to you heart's desire,
I am still a stranger.


.............~Afiq

The 'terbaik'

Is that I will do the best that I can
To be a good example of man
I know one day that you`ll understand
You deserve the best that I am
You deserve the best that I am

Flaw ~ Best I Am

Why we hate each other...

Talk about being emo.. =P

Everybody hates everybody and everybody hates me…

My dad hates me.

My mom hates me.

My brothers hate me.

My sisters hate me.

My children hate me.

My grandparents hate me.

My cousins hate me.

My friends hate me.

My neighbours hate me.

My colleagues hate me.

My teachers hate me.

The bureaucrats hate me.

The ministers hate me.

The liberals hate me.

The conservatives hate me.

The doctors hate me.

The police hate me.

The old people hate me.

The teenagers hate me.

The women hate me.

The clowns hate me.

My enemies hate me.

But I hate myself even more. I’m ashamed of myself even more. Why? Because I am a failure. In fact, every one of the above is a failure as well. I am the by product of their thoughts. I am the hole that they fill in with their hate. I failed. I failed to stop bad things from happening. I wasn’t able to stop the fire. I wasn’t able to keep the peace. I only stood silent. You all hate me because you see yourself in me. You see a reflection of all the failures in your life. Don’t worry. I’m not giving myself any credit here. I’m insignificant. But you know I speak the truth.

The world is a shitty place. People are not nice. Families fall apart in the name of lust. People kill in the name of vengeance. The urge for earthly pleasures and the greed for wealth are too strong for all even the righteous to resist. I see them break. I see them stumble. I see them weak. Only strong when they are destroying each other. I hate them. Because I see myself in them. I see what they are capable of. And the fear of me becoming one of them grips at me with icy fingers, chilling me to the core. What am I saying? I am one of them.

No. I do not hate you. I am not ashamed of you. And it’s not that I don’t love you.

I don’t want to fail others. I want them to know how precious they are. That is why I choose to be distant. To save myself from failing others. To save myself from getting hurt. To live alone where no one can hurt me. But the price I pay is too dear. For I become cold and bitter.

If only there is a place where there is no hate. A place where people can truly be happy. But that’s not the world we live in. That’s not life. In life there is betrayal, anger, murder, divorce, thievery, torture, ignorance, greed, adultery, corruption and all the other vices.

I am just one man, as much as any man can be. My flaws are visible. Clear to the gazes of those few who even care to look. You can hate me for it. Despise me for it. Judge me. Chastise me. Destroy me. Save me. Save me from this world. Save me from the stupidity and the temporariness of life. Make me see the truth. Give me hope.

I don’t want to disappoint others. But most of all I don’t want to disappoint myself. So please don’t lose hope on me. For I don’t want to lose hope in this world.

What am I going on about this for? In the end nobody cares. But I'd like to think that people do.

Now this is right... 8)

"Make You Smile"

This song has always been one of my favorites. I could listen to this for hours and wouldn't even get bored of it. I like the fact that it's a duet between Mark Hoppus and Carol Heller from +44. You rarely get duets nowadays especially with rock groups. It's too bad that Carol left the band later on. They would have probably made some pretty good music had she stayed.

There's no official video to this song since it wasn't release as a single, but I did stumble upon this fan made rendition to it. This song has always been one I can relate to and I'm sure almost everyone can as well. I know that the lyrics are kinda sad, but I couldn't help but smile as I watched this video. Guess the song managed to live up to it's name. 8)










This song is dedicated to a certain someone.......










p/s: I like the part when their dancing and wiggling their feet. XD

A boy who turned double2.....

Sheer pain. That's how I would describe this whole week. Mind you it's still only Tuesday. 3 more days to the end of the semester and finally we will be rid of all these......ASSignments!!

But enough about this week. Let's talk about last week.

On Friday the 9th 'choke on this' turns 1.

On Thursday the 15th my dad turned 50.

And on Friday the 16th I turned 22.


22!!!



Man I feel old. Old as in I've lived in this world for 22 years. As in the experiences that I've gained, both good and bad have help made me become who I am today. No need to be all emotional and nostalgic. I still feel like a kid. Maybe I am a kid. A 16 year old soul trapped in an adult shell of a man. Guess age means more reminiscing of olden days. It's like a history lesson of your own life.

22 years old means that I am now a man. Not a kid. Not a punk. I think I know what it's like to be a man. I think that a man has to put the needs of others before his own. I think that the act of selflessness and sacrifice are what clearly defines a real man. But all in all humility is the most prized trait of all; to know your limitations, to see the values of others and to realize that a man is only a ripple on the deep wide ocean that is the universe.

I do pray that I'll be able to see the values of others, that I'll be able to treat others with kindness and respect. I wish that I can be a humble person. A person that realizes the values of his family and his friends. But most of all, I hope to become a man that can sacrifice his own needs and desires to bring joy to others if only for a while. I hope....

Me like presents! Got a cool Casio watch from my parents.... 8)

I only had 1 slice of this cake. The rest was munched down by cousins, sisters, an uncle and an aunt and two dear parents. hahaha

Once again I'd like to thank everybody who gave me their wishes and prayers. Whether through Facebook or by phone call, SMS, smoke signal, telegram, Morse Code and good ol' fashion word of mouth, your wishes will forever be held dear to me.

p/s: I'm still waiting for birthday gifts. hahahah XD

Mend me

If I'm blind
Open my eyes 'cause I need to see again

If I can feel again
Will you tell me now
Or wait til I'm broken down again
Save me now
I'm broken

If I bleed
My lies won't fill the emptiness inside
I just need
For something real to open up my mind

Breaking down
I'm breaking down
Breaking down
I'm breaking down
It takes time



Sevendust ~ Broken Down

I AM 1 YEAR OLD!!!!!

HI...the name's 'choke on this'. I'm a blog whose birthday is TODAY!!!!! 1 year old. Still a young-ling, I know. But a lot has happened since then, for my blogger is one fellow who's a dear actually but is sometimes crazy. I mean come on, how demented can you be if you name yourself Farzen Master?? But enough about him. Let's talk about me! (^_^)

Now here is the part where people would go "SPEECH, SPEECH, SPEECH!!"........Fine. I'll give one.

I'd like to thank my followers, visitors and readers for all their support and love. I really appreciate you guys leaving inspiring and lovely comments on Farzen's works coz the dude is kinda bad in writing actually. All those fantasies and ideas in his head are just terrible. I wonder how you guys can even read it. pfft...

But still, I'm glad that you do read it. I'm not that very good at giving speeches(due to Farzen being really, really, REALLY lazy to write anymore). So I'll just say thanx again. Do pray that Farzen will write more. I don't want to be deleted. Aheheh....

Homer...lol

p/s: Giving me a birthday present is impossible so you can give one to Farzen instead. If I were human I'd want a new laptop, a PSP, a Nintendo Wii, a new watch and more clothes. =P

p/ss: Or you could just throw a BIG birthday bash with loads of food. I would want a tray of lasagna, a moist chocolate cake, spaghetti and meatballs, ice cream, lontong(???), nasi kandar Line Clear(WTF??) and some sandwiches. Yeah!! That would be awesome. XD