Search This Blog

Thursday, 23 December 2010

Wishes, hopes and prayers...

I understand your pain,
as I also share it the same.
I know it gives you torment,
at night alone you lament.

You are all there is to me,
worth more than all that I see.
I shall be there by your side,
we can walk together full of pride.

In your room you are always cold,
sharing all that you've never told.
I wish to keep you warm at night,
To hold on to you forever tight.

Time has passed and it seems fast,
I pray everyday that our love will last.
I hope that we will make it through,
because I know that you love me too.


Tuesday, 14 December 2010

Sunday, 12 December 2010

Take this journey with me...

"Life is a journey that is more worthwhile when you have someone to share it with.."

Tuesday, 7 December 2010

The moment I held your hand..

It's in the afternoon and what a cold day it has been. I like this kind of weather. Feels nice. I feel that I am in a dream. A sequence set in a place where the sunlight cuts through the silver clouds and dances with the shadows below. Maybe I am in a dream. What day is today? Is it Friday? Maybe I'm still asleep. I'm stuck in a dream for weeks long. And what a very long dream it is. Maybe it's the 16th of October. I was born on that day. I probably felt so happy that day that I never wanted it to go away. We all hold on to things that make us happy. Maybe I just don't want to let go.

But I know that I am awake. How do I know this? Maybe because I keep getting happier with each passing day. Maybe because I feel the cold in my breath and the warmth in my chest. It's also probably because I can feel my stomach fluttering at this very moment. The tingling feeling in my fingers as I am typing this somewhat proves as well that I am awake. What truly makes me certain that I am in the real world though, is the feeling of my own heartbeat every time I remind myself of a person. A person that I once saw in a dream. I held the hand of that person once. Though in a dream nothing is tangible, it felt so real to me. And maybe....just maybe I am still in that dream. What a wonderful dream it is.

May it last forever. And if it doesn't, may you be there when I wake up. :)

Monday, 6 December 2010

A few choices one can make..

" There are three choices. Tell the truth, create a lie or just remain silent..."

Thursday, 18 November 2010

The moon in the water....

In the water I can fly,
In the water there is no heat.
In the water I can cry,
In the water I hear my heartbeat.

Tonight the silence is set in stone,
Tonight I cannot see the moon.
Tonight I feel so alone,
Tonight I wish that I will see you soon.


Note: I wrote this one while I was swimming in the pool just now.

Wednesday, 17 November 2010


"Place a full stop at the end of a sentence and the story comes to an end. But add one or more, then the readers will wonder....maybe there's more to it all...."

Thursday, 4 November 2010


" I wanna be close to you and keep you safe. Stay with me."  ^__^

 P.S. - This is my 100th post!!! xD

Monday, 25 October 2010

Dear you,

I found courage and life in you,
A spirit so strong and true.
Words spoken with wisdom,
Transcending love and freedom.

More than just a pretty smile,
My heart stopped for a long long while.
A dream came of holding your hand,
Thoughts of losing you I can never stand.

The rain falls and all is cold,
Things said that were never told.
I offer you nothing more than my heart,
I cannot bare the thought of being apart.

Your voice brings peace to me,
Shown on my face for all to see.
My heart soars to places high above,
For what keeps it afloat is your sweet,
sweet love.


Wednesday, 6 October 2010

What Allah SWT has in store for us......

This post is actually a respond to another blog post by a person that I know of. I pray that this can be of some significance to you and to me. Here goes...

The usual debate about Fate is always whether we truly are in control of our lives or like you mentioned, merely puppets attached to strings.

Fate has been determined by Allah you say. What is Fate then? A plan? A pathway that man traverse in order to seek the end? What is at the end? A bright light? Or a dark pit?

We question so much about Fate yet it is not that difficult to comprehend. You see, we as human beings and as servants of Allah DO NOT KNOW what each of our Fate is. You say that God is cruel. It may seem so now. But how sure are you that things wouldn't change for the better? That this suffering or pain will one day fade away and happiness will truly come?

We don't know what lies at the end of our Fate or Destiny. We can see beyond whats in front of us in the present. We can only plan for the future. We can predict it. But NEVER can we know what will come to pass.

Some say that if everything is predetermined then why bother being good and pray to Allah? "I'm an evil person. I like to fornicate and drink and gamble. That is my Fate. This is who I am. God has made me this way."

We choose the path......

This is just an excuse for people who are cowards and weak. We have been given a choice. We CHOOSE to be who we are. That is not determined. We were all born the same. Sinless and innocent. Yet why is it that we become horrid creatures when we grow up? Because we chose to be so. Don't blame the upbringing. Yes it has it's role but one can only give so much nurturing to actually shape a person's personality.

We did this to ourselves because of our own weakness.....

We each have our own Fate. But with Fate comes 'rezeki'. Did you know that if your rezeki is that you will eat a single piece of bread before the moment of your death that you will not die UNTIL you actually have eaten that single piece of bread?

Another gift that Allah SWT has given us is actually a tool that can change our Fate. This tool is known as the 'Doa'. Why do you think we pray? A daily ritual just for the fun of it? No. We do not know where our place is in the afterlife. We don't know whether we'll be the same person then than we are now. Only through our prayers that  we can actually determine which path to choose. Which Fate to choose. Our Doa can change Qadha and Qadhar.


And yet some would say,"I have prayed but Allah has not given me anything that I prayed for." Ask them this - Do you pray to Allah ONLY when you need something from him? Only when something bad has befallen upon you? Do you count your blessings that you can breathe, eat and love everyday? Do you remember him during times of ease?

You see it's not whether we turn to Allah SWT when we face difficulties that counts as something. It's the fact that when we are content with life or when we are successful or when we have everything that we had hoped for - do we still remember Him?

I may be able to say that my faith in Allah is strong. And it's only me saying. But I can never know for sure. I can never know whether or not my faith will ever waver. Who knows? One day I might become the most ruthless dictator in the world. And that would be at my OWN choice.

We are all young on this so very old world. There are so many answers that we don't even know what the question is. All we can rely on is our faith in Allah SWT and the knowledge that Allah SWT knows what is best for you and all of us. What we want may be something that we do not need. What we have may not be something that is the best for us. Only Allah SWT knows.

Look at the blessings of life. With the Fate that you have, look at the people in your life. The ones who you care about. I look at my family and I see God. I look at the wonders of nature and I see Allah SWT. I feel grateful that I have been blessed by the love given by people who care for me. By being surrounded by people that have appreciated me. But even if I were a pauper and alone I should not forget about Allah SWT or think Him cruel.


Remember the 2 most important aspects of Faith or Iman is 'Syukur' and 'Sabar'

What is Syukur? Syukur is when you remember Allah SWT even if you don't have anything or anyone in life or when misfortune falls upon you.

Sabar is when you abstain or refrain yourself from doing anything that Allah SWT has forbade us to do.

I'm not saying that I am pious or anything. I'm not saying that I am perfect or without flaws. In fact I am just the opposite. What I have mentioned above is mostly for me.

I hope this helps you and I strengthen our love and obedience to Allah SWT. I pray that Allah SWT blesses us with all the virtues in life. Never give up hope my friend. Never lose faith. Never let evil bring you down. Never give up on Allah SWT. For he has not given up on you. Wallahualam Bissawab. Peace my friend. v(^_^)v

p/s: I purposefully did not give any Quranic verses or Hadiths as my own knowledge is not that great. Please refer to a real Ustaz or anyone more intellectual in matters of Islam. Thank you.

Tuesday, 5 October 2010

Remember people....

....that nothing good ever comes out of evil. So be good.... :)

.....or thou shall meet thy maker soon. xD

Wednesday, 29 September 2010

I'm off the line.....

The internet in my house has been down for almost a week now and it really is starting to piss me off. Got loads of stuff to do and I can't do any one of them.

To everyone who is reading this, I would like to apologize for not being able to update my blog and log in to my Facebook. I know that there are a lot of posts and comments on my page that I have not replied to. I just can't wait until I can get online again. Until then I'll be AFKing. Hahaha.

Friday, 17 September 2010


Do I deny this,
when I want so very much to accept it?
Am I being fooled or am I just fooling myself?
Is it merely an illusion or a dream come true?
Is it an obstacle or a pathway to hopeful days?
Is it a change I am willing to make?
Is it a charge I am willing to take?
Will I be able to make it through?
Will it truly be you?


Monday, 13 September 2010

Suatu hari, suatu pagi...

Aku menangis diawal pagi,
Hanya tinggal aku seorang diri.
Dosa yang ku lakukan berkali-kali,
Tidak mampu aku jauhi.

Aku hamba yang tidak berdaya,
Hatiku berparut, ditikam, terluka.
Titik hitam bertompok di dada,
Aku mohon ampun dari Maha Esa.

Titisnya air mata kerana sedih,
Pilu di hati teramat pedih,
Aku mengharap air yang jernih,
Apa yang ku dapat hanyalah letih.

Apa itu kasih dan cinta?
Adakah duka dan sengsara?
Layakkah aku untuk merasa?
Sedangkan dunia hanyalah sementara.

Aku ingin menjadi insan,
Yang membawa satu harapan.
Menanam pokok di sebuah taman,
Membina hidup dengan iman.

Keikhlasan aku bercelaru,
Akibat lidah yang suka menipu.
Hanya berdoalah yang ku mampu,
"Ampunilah diriku."


"Selamat Hari Raya dari Mohd Afiq sekeluarga!!"

Salam Aidilfitri to anyone who is reading this. I pray that you can find it in your heart to forgive me for all my faults and wrongdoings. I know that I have lots of them as I am only human. May Allah SWT bless us all. o(^-^)o

Wednesday, 1 September 2010

"Daily Routine"

I woke up this morning feeling lightheaded. But just like everyday I took my shower, ate my breakfast, packed my bags and walked down the street to the bus stop. It was a routine and one that I have never seemed to fail at doing.

The bus came late today. In fact it didn't come at all. While I was walking on my way to the office I realized that the streets were empty. Devoid of any vehicle or any sound. As a matter of fact no single human being was in sight. Could I have been dreaming? If so, then it sure is the worst kind. I screamed and shouted, calling for anyone to hear me. But all I could hear were echoes of my own shaky voice.

I arrived at the office around noon. Took the elevator to the ninth floor and headed towards my cubicle. I sat down and tried to digest what was going on or what had happened to make every single human being disappear. I was afraid, thinking of the possibility that I would be alone forever. Everyone's gone. The bus driver. The mail man. The neighbours and their pestering kids. The clowns. The newsreader on television. My boss. My friends. My family.

I went back home in the evening. It sure was a long and cold walk. I could have just taken a car or even a bus and drove back home. But I thought it was better for me to just stick to the routine. Maybe it would help me keep my sanity. Yes, going one whole day without speaking to a person really does things to your mind.

I reached home and like always took of my clothes and had a nice cold shower. I made spaghetti for dinner. I savoured every bite as if it was the last meal I would ever have. Who knows....maybe I was merely a setback. Maybe I got left behind. Maybe tomorrow I'll be able to go to where everyone has gone to. Maybe everyone would come back and say that it was all a hoax. Maybe I truly am alone.

I went to bed at 11 pm as usual. I blocked my mind from thinking of what might be in store for me tomorrow.

There was no point in doing so. I could never be certain of where the story would lead me. But I guess until the end comes all I can do is stick to my routine.


Hope you enjoy this short story of mine. Wrote it today at 5.40 pm. xD

Saturday, 7 August 2010

When it's cold..........

The skin's shedding like a snake's,
The earth crumbles when it quakes.
A dream so far it seems so small,
One day I'll reach it when I'm tall.

In the shadows alone and cold,
Clinging on to memories so old.
The ceiling's high under the sky,
As I lay down watching it all go by.

The green garden lushes in spring,
The light sparkles on a diamond ring.
Time hides both truths and lies,
Unveiled when I am old and wise.

Across the seas ships traverse,
To answer myths of the universe.
I lay in wait bidding my time,
Until the time comes when you are mine.


Friday, 23 July 2010

I am disappointed....

Dalam keadaan demam ku ke sekolah,
Dalam keadaan demam ku marah,
Dalam keadaan demam ku pulang ke rumah,
Dalam keadaan demam hati ku pasrah.


Thursday, 15 July 2010

Of all the days, it had to be today!!

So now I am a teacher. Well, a trainee teacher to be exact. It's been almost a month now and I've gotten used to the school's environment. The students are great, at least those in my classes are. The rest.....well let's just say that the synonym with the word school can sometimes be madhouse. All in all it is a new experience but sure is a tiring one.

As a trainee I have to be observed both by a mentor(an established English teacher in school) and a supervisor(lecturers assigned to monitor our progress during the whole practicum) a few times during the whole practicum. I've been observed once by my mentor and it went well. But today marks the first visit from my supervisor.

As usual the butterflies keep spawning in my belly and everything seems so unclear. I planned my lesson well. It was a double period class( first two periods, morning session) thus time management is of the essence. I received a text around 7.35 a.m. from my supervisor saying that she had just arrived. The butterflies just went supernova!!!

I met her at the parking lot and brought her to my class(4 Bestari). All seemed well until the moment when we came in sight of the class and I realized that something was wrong.

 "It was pure MANIAAAA!!" (exaggeration)

It was mass panic!!! Students running around the corridor with horror stricken faces as if it was the end of the world!! My thoughts - "Why does it have to be today?" (-_-")

I calmed down, took charge and asked what was going on. The students said that there was a present in the middle of the class. ?????!!! What?!! Suddenly the wind blew my way and I smelled the horrendous stench that caused such a commotion. Went into the classroom and saw for myself an unsightly pile of.......yup you guessed it.......SHIT!!!!

"If you think this pic is adorable then something is wrong with you..."

"Who did this or what did this??" I asked my students. It was one huge pile of dung at my first thought was vandalism. My students said that a cat did it. I didn't believe them and I still don't. Cause if it was a cat, then that cat must have eaten a DOG!!!

"Beware of cats and their presents......."

And so I was worried. Had to find other options. Adopt and adept. Analyze the situation. Deduced the possibilities and predict the outcomes. Found a solution. Bingo!! The SAL(Self Access Learning) Room.

The students sure were excited about getting out of the class and I for one don't blame them. And so the lesson started very late, almost entering the second period. I managed to cut out parts of my lesson which were not that important and focused on the main activities.

It sure went well in the end. My supervisor gave great comments and feedbacks and all was good. She even acknowledged that I was quick to handle emergency cases and that the lesson was well conducted. Saw a glimpse of the marks and it sure made me smile. (^___^)

Who knew that having such an awful situation could end up being a part a bright sunny day.

Moral values learned:

1) Always expect the unexpected. Expect it on important dates especially when there are observations.

2) Never show fear and panic when faced with weird and disgusting scenarios.

3) Shit happens. LITERALLY!!!!

"So that was what they were talking about"

p/s: Thank you to my supervisor for being very understanding and for giving inspiring comments.

p/ss: Chip!!! We did good!! haha

And last and not the least p/sss: Thank you so much to my students in 4 Bestari for being such wonderful students. You guys are awesome. I'll be sure to give you guys a treat. :))

Saturday, 10 July 2010

About other muses....

"I'd rather listen to a cryptic lyric than an obvious oblivious one"

Monday, 5 July 2010

I shall be heard!!

"Whoever said that being a teacher is easy can just shove it! It's tiring!!"

p/s: I'm doing my practicum now, teaching form 4 students @ SMK TTDI Jaya. Will not be able to post things as regularly as I would like to. Ho hum... 8(

Sunday, 6 June 2010

Can't wait for 'Eclipse' wuhu!!

As I was sitting in my dad's car on our way to my aunt's house, I saw a huge billboard with a poster on it of the upcoming Twilight sequel, 'Eclipse'. Now I know that this may come as a shocker to those who personally know me as I have been very critical on the Twilight movies since its adaptation to the silver screen a few years back. I bet all the dudes are now saying "GAAAY!!" or that this is "FAAAKE!!". No my fellow grunts, I am not gay and no this is not a fake. Sure the last two movies have been, for lack of a better term, crap.

 Even Leslie Nielsen's Dracula had more balls than those tweeny boppers

But I do believe that the producers of Twilight have decided that it's time to cater to a wider range of demographics and satisfy some of the audiences who hunger for a little dose of testosterone ridden, angst filled and blood spilling action style of a storyline. This, they believe, will help salvage the vampire genre since the last two films have been disastrous(fans of the novels were also critical about the movies as well) and killed the genre as a whole.

Both Louis de Pointe du Lac and Prince Vlad wept at the premiere of Twilight. Their thoughts - 'Twilight' did to vampires what 'Brokeback Mountain' did to cowboys.

So what's new this time around? I heard from a somewhat reliable source that the movie 'Eclipse' is going to be much, much darker than its predecessors. Gone it seems are the crappy one liners from that pale looking pole of a man named Edward and the emo-driven screams of Bella Swan, which was more like that of a woman in labour than a depressed young juvenile delinquent. The story will include a more action oriented theme and seems that the fight sequences are something to look forward to. But one thing that trumps above all else is the introduction of a new nemesis for the skinny vampires and their shaggy wolf clan peons. Nope, it's not the Victoria character and her whole legion of newborn vampires. People, please. If I were excited about that then I AM GAY!!! hahahaha

 Oh my. What scary looking vampires! Looks like one of those actors in 'Gossip Girl'. FAIL!!

No. This nemesis, this more than worthy adversary is none other than the mofoipawnsissyvampiren00bs - BLADE!!!!!

 "Can thou blush?" said Blade to the amateurs in Twilight.

Yup. Instead of adding another sequel to his own franchise, Blade decides to step into the world of Twilight and show these wannabes what makes a true bloodsucker great. Or maybe he's just jealous of all the attention that Edward's been getting these days. Who can blame him? One thing is for sure though. I am now definitely psyched to go watch this movie. Mind you, we're just a few weeks shy of watching the reboot of the awesomeness that is the vampire genre by our hero, Blade the Daywalker.

Blade - "It's my turn to shine, biatch."
Edward to Bella - "So long sweet cakes!! Adios!!"

p.s.- Satire people. Satire. (^o^)

Tuesday, 25 May 2010


"Sometimes all that it takes to make it okay, is the coming of a bright new day"

Saturday, 15 May 2010

Apa aku suka buat.....

It has been quite awhile since I've posted anything on my blog. Can't seem to find the time to actually think of anything anymore.The words are there in the back of my head. A voice that's pushing my emotions into thoughts and is just waiting to be heard. But sometimes emotions and what we feel can never be written.

Aku suka berjalan
dan aku suka berfikir
sekali sekala aku akan bercakap apa yang ada di kepala
tetapi kebiasaanya aku hanya berdiam diri sahaja......

Aku suka berjalan
tetapi benci berlari
mengejar dunia yang tidak mampu dikecapi
membutakan jiwa dan melukakan hati......

Aku suka berjalan
dan aku suka membaca
huruf dan abjad menggambarkan fikiran
membuatkan aku sedar apa yang tidak dikelihatan.....

Aku suka berjalan
dan aku suka berfikir
tetapi yang paling aku suka buat ialah menulis
kerana itu sahaja yang aku mampu lakukan dengan sepenuh hatiku
tanpa segan silu......tanpa sedih dan pilu......


Note: I don't know if this can be considered a 'puisi' or 'sajak' or anything. It came at the spur of the moment and is in Bahasa Melayu. BM for the win!!

Thursday, 1 April 2010

Not a good day at all.....

I am a fool. I know what I have to do but I don't know how. I am too stubborn to know what is good for me. I am still in denial of reality. I cling on to false hopes and childish dreams. It was all a mistake. I knew it from the start. But like I said, I am a fool. I thought that come what may, at least I can always say that I tried.If only I am heartless. If only I'm not empathic by nature. It's all a hindrance. If only I am cold hearted. Then I wouldn't be bothered with the world. Then I wouldn't get hurt at all. I would be invincible. I would be alone....

Monday, 22 March 2010

G, C, D and the codes go on.....

"I can't believe I wrote a song for you today. Here goes....." (fade-in, strums the guitar)

Friday, 19 March 2010

Fear no more...

How could such a small man moved the hearts of a nation? How was he able to demand such atrocities be committed? Why is it that no one orders virtue to be done? What wrong is there in doing what is right? Why can't the innocent have this strong a leader?

I heard once that to do good is easier than doing something bad. If that is the case, then why is there so much evil in the world? Infants are being discarded as if they are mere wastes. No. It is you who are the wastes. People are now baby killers. What ever happened to the world? Easier to do good than bad? Well I guess most of us like it the hard way then.

Our days go by, one by one. We bid our time slowly even though time is on no one's side.All of us look away from the darkness. But some have embraced it. These are the ones that would deny the dreams that others hold so that they can satisfy their own twisted desires.

But the innocent should fear not. Wake up. Hold fast. Stand strong. For you are not weak. You have warred with your greatest enemy ever, your lust. Evil is weak. Those who do bad are never mighty. They have fears. They fear so much at being victims that they fail to be heroes.

Who do we trust? I have learned to not trust though it is poison to me. But it's not others that I don't trust. I don't trust my judgments. I am afraid of making the wrong decisions. The one that I've disappointed the most is myself.

But all can change. Old resolutions can easily be replaced by more noble ones. I now stare at the shadows. I feared it once. No more. I only feared my inability to do action not the darkness itself. I realize now that to have faith and hope for the best, helps in braving the mysteries of the future. I shall no longer beat myself up. I shall always try and never give up. I shall see the beauty of the world rather than its ugliness. It's all perception. We have a choice. It's all up to us.

Even in a crowd we are individuals. Random tales that converge in a mutual setting. There is sadness and madness. There is joy and mirth. Numerous sides of a coin passing through the stream of life. If only we would all look up to each other and smile.

Yes that's it. A smile. I shall look at the darkness and give it a smile. Maybe it'll go away. And even if it doesn't, then I can always say that I tried. I can say that I never wavered. My faith unshaken. I pray for that strength.

I guess it is easier to do good. I mean come on. It's just a smile. 8)