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Wednesday, 28 December 2011


"Give thanks to Allah Taala; for life is a blessing no matter how dire things may be."

Friday, 9 December 2011

What is up with 11?

Tagged by Nadia on ridiculousME

Felt really bored and I decided to do this tag. Been ignoring it from Jeng and Azila simply because I had other matters at hand. I guess it all depends on the mood. But I will do them later. Hope you enjoy this one first. :)

1. You must post these rules.
2. Each person must post 11 things about themselves in their journal.
3. Answer the questions the tagger set for you in their post. And create 11 new questions for the people you tagged to answer.
4. You have to choose 11 people to tag and link them on the post.
5. Go to their page and tell them you have tagged HIM/HER.
6. No tag back!
7. No stuff in the tagging section about “YOU ARE TAGGED IF YOU ARE READING THIS” YOU LEGITIMATELY (a.k.a REALLY, TRUST, WITH ALL HONESTY) have tagged 11 people.

11 things about myself:

1. I am now curious; why 11? Could there be a double meaning here? Is there a cryptic message? I wonder...
 "What happened to 7?"

2. Like I mentioned above, I am a curious person. I tend to wonder at things that sometimes can be just trivial but still I would try my best to find the answers. Example: 'Why do people in post-apocalyptic movies like "The Book of Eli" and "The Road" keep checking out each others hands?' I know the answer. Curious? Hehe..

  " never ends."

3. I love to play computer games. But alas, my personal laptop is somewhat old and I cannot play the newer games. All the games from 2006 and above, would either just crash or lag to the point of being frozen in time. Bummer...

4. I am good at taking care of my belongings. My laptop has been with me for five years now and rarely do I have to reformat it. It's not in its peak condition but it still looks nice and serves its purpose.

5. I love to read books. I have four shelves in my room just filled with reading materials. I've loved fantasy since I was a kid but lately I've been reading other genres as well. Just trying to broaden my horizons.

"I wish I had one like that. The shelves I mean."

6. My family is my home; my room is my sanctuary. 

7. I like to reminisce about the good old days. Lately I keep looking back at the cartoons that I loved to watch whenever I came back from school. Back before we had Astro, there was Mega TV. Cartoon Network, to me, was the most incredible channel ever at the time. Swat Kats, Scooby Doo, Dexter's Laboratory and Top Cat are just a few of the many favourite cartoons I had back then. 

8. One of my many interests is to listen to songs from movies. No, not the soundtrack but the original score. Though I tend to like the scores base on the composers, usually my interest lies on individual film scores. Thomas Newman, Carter Burwell and James Horner are some of my favourite composers. Films like 'The Last of the Mohicans' and 'Road to Perdition' have some of the best scores I have ever heard.

9. I know that most of the time people tend to love the heroes or protagonist in stories but I somehow will mostly relate to the anti hero or antagonist more. I find their motivations to do things intriguing. The only hero that I would put above any character would probably be Batman. I've been a Batman buff since I was a kid. My family can certainly attest to that. The reason is that he has suffered the worst thing that could happen to a child, which is seeing your parents die before you, and still became a good person in the end. Usually it's the other way around.

 "Your turn doctor. Tell me! What do YOU see?" - Rorschach 

10. I'm certainly positive that I've mentioned this a couple of times but I love cheese. Cheddar, Blue, Parmesan or Gouda, I just love them all.

"Ya Allah..nikmat."

11. I believe that 11 questions can be long for one to answer about one's self but it sure is too short to describe the life and times of someone.

11 questions given by the author of ridiculousME, Nadia:

1.How are you?

I am fine..I think. What about you?

2.Coffee or Hot Chocolate?

Hot chocolate! Not because I love it so much but because I usually get heartburn from drinking coffee. Ouch!

3. What do you think of classical music?

I don't have any personal favourites mainly because I don't listen so much to it. I'm not well versed on the subject. But I do appreciate whenever I hear it. Probably because I love instrumental and orchestral music. 

4. Describe ‘’.

I think it's the worst ever!! Hahaha just kidding. I love the variations of posts that it has to offer. Sometimes it is informative and at times it can be very personal. Kudos to you!

5. Why do you stay up late?

I stay up late for a lot of reasons. Sometimes I read books or watch a movie. Can't seem to do them at any other time.

6. When is your favourite time of a day?

Night. I am nocturnal. Bats are nocturnal. Am I a bat? Or maybe I'm Batman. (this is what happens to you for staying up so late)

7. What do you think of Pak Li Kopitiam?

I think that it's a bit pricey. And the food isn't THAT great.

8. Describe ‘Little Kids’

Is this a TV show? I'm confused by the quotation marks. If it's about human offspring, then I would have to say that they are adorable. Sometimes they can get on your nerves with their silly antics but most of the time they're harmless....most of the time....

9. What do you think is the meaning to this sentence “where is thy blush?” (shaza je yg tau…)

'Di manakah malu anda?' (translation) 

10. What is your favourite cake served at Secret Recipe?

Chocolate Indulgence. Mainly because it's the only cake that I know the name. 

11. Are you tired answering these questions?

I was tired before answering them. Now I'm just sleepy. Zzzz...( _ _)

11 questions for those fortunate ones:

1. If you are a fictional character which would you prefer to be, a hero or a villain? Why?
2. What would your powers/abilities be and why?
3. What would your moniker/nickname be?
4. Where would your secret hideout be?
5. What is your Facebook or E-mail password?
6. If you could stay in another country, where would it be? Why?
7. On a bright sunny day, do you prefer to stay at home or go out? Why?
8. How would you define marriage?
9. What do you think will make you happy and content with your life?
10. During times of stress, what do you do to calm yourself?
11. Would you be willing to treat me to dinner sometime in the future?

11 people who are so fortunate to be tagged:

1. My dear sister, Sparrow_wing.
2. nenanay
3. zawanbadri
4. Syahirah Lalala
5. Azie Nazri
6. safwan
7. RustyTurtle
8. Luruninia Shuib
9. extraordinarydesign
10. azilaabidin
11. nadia (screw the terms and conditions!)

If you have done this tag then I just hope you would care to answer my 11 questions. It's okay if you don't want to. Thank you. :)

I don't like to tag people actually. But I enjoy doing them.

Wednesday, 2 November 2011

Old things within...

"We must let go of the dark past in order to grasp a brighter future."

Wednesday, 26 October 2011

Let's get mushy!

CAUTION: There may be traces of 'jiwangness' in the following post.

I believe that to meet someone nice, we should strive to be nice as well. There are those who constantly complain about not meeting the right girl or guy when they themselves are not even close to being called 'model citizens'.

Most of us expect to find the perfect person. But who is perfect? Those with muscular or curvaceous physiques? Those who are smart, intelligent and funny all at the same time? Or those who have all the money in the world?

It's not actually about finding the right package. It's about searching for that one person whose behaviour we can tolerate. A person that is willing to admit his or her own weaknesses. Someone who accepts you for who you are; flaws and deformities with it.

It never is easy when matters of the heart come into question. There is no straight answer to it. No clear path, no definite solution. All it takes is patience and sacrifice.

We have to be patient with everything that we do in life. Not being so would only make us lose sight what the goals are. It's not about how early we marry or how many guests will show up for the wedding or whether or not we have the enough money about it. It's about the tying of two hearts together; celebrating a bond of love and happiness. Bear in mind that there are cases of people who cannot marry because of failing to adhere to old customs and traditions. Sometimes it's not even at their own doing but their families' and society's

Why must we make such a wonderful union, a troublesome endeavour? It's easier these days to get a divorce than to get married. It's even cheaper in fact. Not to mention faster. No guests list to be made. No dowry, no invitations. Just to and fro marches to the court and, Voila!, man and wife no more.

Sacrifices must be made. Old and irrelevant traditions should just be discarded. People need to open up their eyes and see what the world is coming to. There is no need to be dead set on maintaining culture when our very own principles and moral standings are being subject to defamation by crime, corruption and foreign influences. Most of the younger generations don't even bother with relating themselves to our culture. Not to mention that sometimes even traces of religion can no longer be seen in such trendy lifestyles that the youth have become accustomed to. (Pardon me for going a bit political here)

Being able to sacrifice one's own needs for the needs of the one we love is the key to love. I believe that we should make ourselves to be the best person we can for our significant other even if he or she may not fit our criteria or suit to our taste.

I would like to think that complaining about the other person not being nice or good enough for us is something that can be changed. Sometimes the mistakes that come from the one we love are our own personal faults as well. We like to think of ourselves as the good guys even though we tend to do bad things; it's in our nature to revere ourselves.

To say that I, myself, am capable of doing any of those mentioned above is not true. I always forget to see beyond my own needs and demands. I can be a very selfish person. I wish that it is easy to keep to the changes and resolutions I've made. I just hope that I can find the patience and endurance to go through all of this. I just hope that I'll be able to make the sacrifices that are necessary when the time comes.

I wish and hope for a lot of things. But I wish it not only for myself but for others as well. I know that my writing may be biased in some areas. I know that I may just be all talk and no walk. This is not a solution to any problem or a powerful secret that no one else knows. This is just a piece of my mind. I have friends who are married and those who are soon to be. I have a family of my own that provides an example to me of what kind of a person I should be. I see in them love. I see in them tolerance and patience. I see in them strength.

I pray that I can be like them; to be the best that I can for the one I love. :)

Friday, 14 October 2011


As I wander through the night,
I see above a wondrous sight.
Trees rustled by a gentle breeze,
A waxing moon puts me at ease.

A single star by Luna's side,
The seas flow at the turn of the tide.
Leaves cast shadows and silhouettes,
Chasing away the clinging regrets.

The streets are filled with light,
As the lamps glow so very bright.
A hundred stars fell from the sky,
Leaving me to ponder why.

I gaze upon the moon and the star,
Like an ant, remote and afar.
But up there those two shine,
Telling me that all will be fine.


Note: Used to be titled 'On certain nights....'. Decided to make some changes to the names of my poems. I am also editing some of the posts. Proofreading sure goes a long way. (07042016)

Monday, 10 October 2011

The News

Days are added to history,
Tears etched in memory.
The pillars strong and bold,
Yet time has made it old.

Scribbles emit a story,
Of failure and epic glory.
Life ends and begins anew,
More shadows as the trees grew.

Promises are heard,
Of ways to flee the herd.
The boundaries reachable,
To break is impossible.

The arms move separately,
Showing fortune and folly.
A mystery ready to unfold,
Simple stones may become gold.


Tuesday, 30 August 2011

Of wonderful days and celebration..

The beautiful month of Ramadhan has passed. It truly has been a blessing from Allah for giving us the opportunity to go through the fasting month again this year. May He give us the chance to see another Ramadhan next year and the years after.

It is a time of mourning and celebration all at once. We mourn the passing of Ramadhan, yet we welcome the coming of Syawal. It is in such time that we must learn to seek forgiveness for all our wrongdoings and to forgive and forget. And so I wish to all my fellow Muslims across this place we call Earth; Salam Eid Mubarak. May we be blessed by Allah Subhanahu Wa Taala.

Oh..and Salam Merdeka to my fellow Malaysians. It has been 54 years since our forefathers fought for our independence. Let us do justice to their sacrifice and appreciate the freedom that we have. Merdeka! Merdeka! Merdeka!

Friday, 19 August 2011

Monday, 15 August 2011

Can someone please draw me?

They say silence is golden..

I now realize that some things are better left unsaid. It's probably time that I keep it all to myself. I shall bid my time and wait for the opportune moment. Or maybe I should just leave it as it is. With that I would regress back into someone who I was before. A recluse. Secluded. Isolated.

But then again, did I ever change? Or am I even that in the first place? All I know is that sometimes it's better to wait. It's better to let it work out by itself. I wish that I can believe this. I wish that it's like in the novels where there are time skips and characters have progressed to another state.

Alas we are not characters in a novel. We are characters in our own lives. And we have to endure every second of it whether we like it or not.

I shall learn to be more discreet. I shall learn to be more relevant and practical. Maybe I should discard my expressive nature. I should guard my opinions and hide them well. After all, does it even matter?

Sunday, 14 August 2011

2cents from a friend..

Perhaps it was in the method that the flaw was apparent. Maybe it was the delivery. But who knows? It could be that the whole thing is just wrong by itself.

Friends are hard to come by these days. Let alone true and honest ones. I would prefer companions who know where my faults are and tell me about them; even if it pains me to hear about it.

Sure initial reaction may be one of surprise which can possibly become contempt later on because honestly, it is never easy to hear anything bad about ourselves especially in terms of behaviour let alone personality. Our actions and our thoughts are remnants of our past experience. Life is learning. And life can be very hard. It is not impossible that we absorb the negativity in life that it becomes a part of us. It shapes us into who we are. It makes us think, behave and act the way we do now. And it never is easy to hear that all of this which we hold as our universal truth; as that which defines us are all wrong in the first place. But who else can we hope to here it from?

I have been told that a true friend should always be there for them. In both times of joy and of dire need. I was taught that we can tell them that they have made a mistake or that they have been doing it the wrong way. But alas, even this is not easy to uphold.

I gave you my opinion. I shared with you my thoughts and what I felt. I am sorry that you do not accept it. I am sorry that it seemed harsh to you.

I know that I am the least person to tell you of your faults. Since even I cannot easily accept it when you point out mine. But that was it. I had to tell you. I feel that I should remind you. I believe it is my duty. I believe it is right. Or maybe I am wrong.

It is all a matter of opinions. There is only one truth which you and I are all oblivious to. We cannot judge each other just as how we cannot judge ourselves. It may not be the truth. It may not be what is best for us. All we can do is pray.

I pray that I will always be a true friend to you. One that is loyal and caring. One that will be there when you need me even if you do not want me there.

Honestly, it is never easy to be a friend. The burden is heavy. It takes a toll on our hearts. But such a price is worth paying. For the bond and love that we share outweighs them all any day.

I love my best friend. Thank you for always being there for me. : )

Saturday, 6 August 2011

Days to come...

I hope the parts that I love and adore will stay the same. And if it doesn't, at least I hope that I'll be able to recognize them. Will it be drastic or will it be subtle? Either way, I still hope the same.

Tuesday, 21 June 2011

Am I RecTangled?

I usually draw a rectangle whenever I write things on paper. Except for professional purposes. It happens when I make annotations or scribble down thoughts...

 I know. Probably the most worthless fact about me anyone needs to know. Consider it trivial.

If only I can draw something like the picture above. But such a talent belongs to my younger sister. Me? I just make rectangles. :D

Sunday, 29 May 2011

Saturday, 28 May 2011

I got lost somewhere, somehow..

"Maybe I am not doing this right...perhaps it's time to set myself straight."

Thursday, 26 May 2011

What lies within me...

 "Remember what Shrek said about layers?"

I am just like everyone else. Flawed. I used to believe that I am defined by the experiences, the history and origin that I have and belong to. Yet now it all does not seem to add up.

I have many insecurities about myself. I know that the only thing holding me back is myself. But reality is not as easy as fiction where one can always choose which path to take. In life, choosing is one thing but to act upon the choices we have made is another challenge altogether.

I am afraid of opening up to people. I am afraid that they would see me as vulnerable, weak and fragile. I hide behind a smoke screen of confidence, a mirror of strength and an idea of perfection. Would people cower from me if they knew the truth? Would I be exiled for it?

There are times when I feel that I am separated from the rest of humanity. I know. A very self imposed righteousness, you might say. But it is felt both negatively and positively. Some days I feel that I am the worst of my kind. And there would be others when I feel that I have done something truly spectacular.

I believe that we all seek this. That uniqueness that makes us who we are. That drives us and defines us. The trait that would make us accepted by people and gain their love and approval.

The truth is, life is not consistent. You can wake up one day feeling all peachy inside and you can wake up another feeling angry at the world; as if everyone has declared war upon you. I believe that my insecurities stem from my emotions. As much as I try to portray a deadpan and cool attitude, deep down inside I am as mushy as any hopeless romantic could ever be. I wish that I can control my emotions.


What I find to be very aggravating is that deep inside my heart I know what is right and what is wrong but my emotions tend to trump every time when I decide to take action. I fear them; my emotions. I guess that is what they call a conundrum. Cannot seem to be rid of it. But I guess that is what makes us human after all. Otherwise we would just be like the mindless peons we call machines.

"Mindless and emotionless.."

I just wish that I have the power to control them. To choose how I feel. To channel the emotions by separating the positive and the negative ones. The dilemma here is that if I do have the ability to do so, would I actually do it? It comes back to the act of making a choice and acting upon that choice.

 "If only it is this easy.."

Perhaps I should have more faith in people. To trust them with my insecurities, my mistakes and my flaws. I have buried myself so deep that I cannot seem to pull myself out entirely from beneath. All the scars, secrets and shadows still grip me. Maybe I am just being melodramatic. But I guess that is proof to you of how much my emotions affect me so.

Wednesday, 4 May 2011

Sheets of Glass

Yes. I do sigh,
Silently when not alone.
Only at night do I cry,
In the confines of my home.

It is hard for me to let go,
I hold things close and dear.
Though I do not show,
Please stay with me here.

I wish that I am remembered,
I hope that I am cherished.
May you always be guarded,
And never be diminished.

Life and times come and go,
Treasures buried in the sand.
Never will I open the window,
For I shall keep you in my heart,
till the very end.


Note: This used to be titled 'To you and to all...'. As part of the full blog editing process, it now bears a new name. (07042016)

Saturday, 16 April 2011

A Journey Farewell.

Carve my name on the street,
Paint the sky a shade of green.
Close I am to admit defeat,
For the enemy is silent and unseen.

The walls are torn down,
The winding stairs stand alone.
The king has lost his crown,
The people all turn to stone.

Neither here nor there,
The search goes on for the answer.
The horses return from nowhere,
A dread breeds like a cancer.

The time has come for the end,
As all the work will be laid bare.
Here are my words to you friend,
Farewell to thee and take care.


Wednesday, 30 March 2011

My head is spinning! But..

"It's funny how having a headache can sometimes make me think straight."

Tuesday, 29 March 2011


Suramnya malam tanpa mu,
Tingginya langit gelap dan biru.
Di sini aku berdiri terpaku,
Selamanya akan ku tunggu.

Masa menjadi lawan,
Cita-cita ku sampai ke awan.
Bertemulah kita di sebuah taman,
Genggam tangan ku wahai teman.

Bayangan malap menusuk hati,
Aku bilang hari demi hari.
Tunggulah aku wahai bidadari,
Akan kita bersama disuatu hari.

Kasih sayang dan cinta,
Hanya dengan izin yang Maha Esa.
Kekuatan diri hanya dalam doa,
Semoga diberkati ikatan kita.


Note: This poem was titled 'Akan ku tunggu...' which sounds like a Malay song and doesn't seem fitting with the poem. So now you have a new one. (07042016)

Friday, 25 March 2011

The Tattered Road

How can I sleep?
When everything around me is crashing down.
I feel anxious, I am worried and I am scared.
So many questions and possibilities, so many scenarios,
Which will be played out? I guess no one truly knows.

I sink deeper and deeper into the floor,
The air escapes my lungs, the body aches so much more.
Why does it have to be hard when it is better easy?
I want so much to be whole and not empty.

I hear your voice, you cry and you sigh,
Ever we wonder at the question 'Why?'
We love and care so much for each other,
But why is it to others it's such a bother?

I pray that we can remain together forever,
To be each others strength and support.
To share our lives, our joys, our tears.
I hope our prayers will be answered.
For I do not want our love to be sundered.


Verily, along with every hardship is relief~(Qur'an 94:5)

Note: 'The most tiring trial of mine.' used to be the title for this poem. Quite lengthy. Decided to change to this one. (07042016)

Saturday, 26 February 2011

Never Let Go

I want to hold you tight,
To tell you that everything's alright.
To always be by your side,
As we wish each other goodnight.

Though now is not the time,
For you are not truly mine.
One day all will be fine,
My love for you is the only crime.

At times I have done you wrong,
With regret I lay all nightlong.
Yet our bond has grown strong,
For in our hearts we hear our song.

I drift to sleep with no sorrow,
For I hope to see you tomorrow.
What comes after, we never know,
Till then my dear, never let me go.


Friday, 4 February 2011

You and Me

I want to be with you,
And you want to be with me.
Let's pray together,
for us to be happy.


Saturday, 15 January 2011

Let's be patient together..

"The harder to get something you wish for, the more you'll appreciate it when it finally comes true."