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Saturday, 15 December 2012


Greetings, people. I suddenly had the urge today to read some of my previous blog posts. I must admit that I truly enjoyed reading the comment section. I couldn't help but laugh out loud at some of them but I realised that there was a time when I was very active at blogging. It dawned on me that people regularly commented on my posts and there are some from readers who I do not know personally (most of them are from friends and colleagues of mine).

A few years back the posts started to become less frequent than usual, all because of the workload in the later semesters of my degree. Nowadays it seems that I am not the only one who has been somewhat absent from the blogosphere, but most of the bloggers I know as well. Some of them have even deactivated their profiles.

I used to think that I really enjoyed writing and blogging. I am not sure I feel the same anymore. I wonder though, if all the other bloggers feel the same. Could their absence be the result of their busy lives? Could it be that they have switched to other forms of writing? Or is it simply the case of losing interest?

As all the years have taught me, interest plays an important role in making decisions. People always say that you should do something that you have interest in, be it work, study or play. This would definitely help in making it more productive and keeping you motivated as well. The thought that I have in mind is, what if our interest changed? I know that interests can change but what if the changes are very frequent? Take me, for example. Within a few years after my first blog post my interest in it has certainly waned. Yes, the excuses are there. Workload, busy schedule, bad internet connection but these things have always been there from the start. I just made more effort to write then than I do now.

Being at where I am now, such thoughts are surely daunting. I am still unemployed (there will be a special post about this any time soon) and at times I get worried as to the reasons why. Is it because my interests have changed? Could it be that I am not answering my true calling? Maybe I made a wrong decision at some point that resulted in me being this way. And don't get me started on marriage. While I am fine at seeing my friends finding their soul mates, it does bug me when other people tell me to get married soon. If I could, I would. But right now there are things that I need to get into order so I can marry someone. I'll need to earn a living first, of course. Then there is the preparation in terms of mind, body and soul. And it's not like there's anyone special in my life right now. No pressure.

Do not worry. I know that Allah has things in store for me. I am patient about it and I am glad the people around me are very understanding. Sooner or later my time will come. I know I will find my interests again be it in work, love or life. The proof? I am still able to breathe the morning air. That itself is worth to be grateful for.

Before ending this I would like to give a special shout-out to Nashrah, Azie, Afiqah, Haziq, Nen and all my blogger friends who have been there at the start. How I miss those days and how I miss you all. Take care.

P.S. Towards the end of writing this post, I went and ate a plate of nasi lemak and watched some parts of 'Dear Lemon Lima' on Sundance. :)

Tuesday, 18 September 2012

Farewell, home.

Take a ride on my space ship,
And traverse the unknown skies.
We'll reach for the blue moon,
A pit stop for the stars beyond.

Leave behind the machinations,
Of a dying world past its glory.
The songs of old are now whispers,
An echo that is best forgotten.

Behold the comets and the suns,
And in the darkness within lies,
Countless worlds of possibilities.
Welcoming us with a warm embrace.

Our journey, long and perilous,
Will help us rid of our misery.
For we shall always be haunted,
With regret as our home is lost.


Saturday, 25 August 2012

Wednesday, 15 August 2012

There is so much that I feel like sharing with people. But it would not be appropriate. Nobody needs to listen to what my thoughts and feelings are anyways. Only Allah knows and only to Him should I turn to. For only He can bring me peace.

Sunday, 5 August 2012


"Some people just throw away their toys when they get new ones."

Wednesday, 25 July 2012

I just woke up...

It's the sixth night of Ramadhan now. I slept early tonight, right after Maghrib. I couldn't help it. I've been having trouble sleeping the past few months. I don't know if it's biological, emotional or something else but you can definitely say that I am sleep deprived. There are times when I can only sleep during the day. I've become nocturnal. I've tried sleeping early on certain days but I would always wake up in the middle of the night and could never go back to bed.

I guess the fatigue finally caught up with me today. Been feeling drowsy the whole day. I woke up at midnight just now, did all that was required and necessary. It was then that I felt a weird sensation. It was when I took out the garbage that I felt as if everyone in the neighbourhood was asleep. It was static. I heard no sound of cars moving. Even the neighbours' dogs didn't bark. I only felt the cold wind. The silence was really soothing. It's as if everyone was at peace with the world. Wars and turmoils were distant shadows of the past. Everyone was sleeping in their comfy and cozy beds with wonderful dreams in their heads. It brought tranquility to me.

I sure hope I'll be able to sleep like the rest of them. But seeing as how things have been for me lately, I kind of doubt it. And blogging about it sure doesn't improve the odds either. But it'll come. Of that I am definitely sure. Sleep will come. Sooner or later.

Monday, 23 July 2012


Bila mahu semua benda kita setuju.
Bila tak nak semua benda jadi salah.
Bila susah minta tolong tak perlu malu.
Bila pergi lupa kawan jadi mudah.

Bila suka kata-kata jadi merdu.
Bila kesal air mata menitis bertimba.
Bila kenal pendirian jadi sekufu.
Bila pergi kata kasih hilang makna.


Friday, 20 July 2012

What's coming?

"Winter is Coming", is what the Starks of Winterfell would say.

"Ramadhan is Coming", is what my fellow Muslims are saying now. 

Salam Ramadhan to all my brothers and sisters. May Allah give us His blessings to make this Ramadhan the best it can be.

Monday, 2 July 2012

Macam-macam cinta...

Segala yang selain dari Allah adalah makhluk. Dunia dan isinya adalah makhluk. Manusia dan jin adalah makhluk. Semua makhluk ada kekurangan dan kelebihan masing-masing tetapi hanya Allah yang sempurna.

Cinta yang sejati adalah cinta pada Pencipta(Rob). Cinta Allah pada makhluknya tiada tandingan. Tetapi ramai makhluk yang tak cintakan Allah. Makhluk lupakan Allah. Makhluk meminta bukan pada Allah. Makhluk mengharap pada makhluk.

Hati manusia penuh dengan berhala. Hati manusia penuh dengan benda selain Allah. Manusia cintakan dunia. Manusia abaikan syurga. Manusia bercemburu antara satu sama lain kerana dunia. Kerana dunia akhlak dan agama tergadai.

Berhala di hati manusia mempunyai rupa yang berbeza. Ada berhala wang dan harta. Ada berhala pangkat dan gelaran. Ada berhala manusia seperti artis-artis, suami atau isteri, anak-anak atau tokoh-tokoh ilmu. Selagi berhala-berhala ini ada di dalam hati manusia, cinta pada Allah tak akan dirasa.

Ramai manusia marah apabila cinta pada makhluk dipersoalkan. Manusia akan bela dengan kata-kata yang keras. Kita masih tak sedar yang cinta pada makhluk tiada manfaat. Kerana makhluk itu tiada kuasa. Bukan makhluk yang dapat bagi kebahagiaan. Bukan makhluk yang dapat selesaikan masalah kita. Ada yang bagi alasan "Tapi duit tu penting! Tak ada duit mana boleh hidup!". Nauzubillah.

Yang dapat menyelesaikan masalah kita adalah Allah. Hanya Allah yang ada kuasa untuk membuat sesuatu. Segala makhluk mengharap pada Allah. Duit mengharap pada Allah untuk permudahkan urusan kita. Makanan mengharap pada Allah untuk bagi kekenyangan pada kita. Begitu juga manusia yang lain. Hati manusia hanya Allah yang boleh ubahkan.

Segala ujian yang datang hanya kerana Allah kasihkan hambanya. Tanpa ujian manusia akan lupa pada Allah. Selagi manusia tak faham perkara ini selagi itulah iman akan lemah.

Manusia tak sedar yang apabila kita cinta pada Allah maka kita akan kasihi ciptaan-Nya. Manusia akan kenal erti cinta sebenar apabila manusia dapat cinta dari Allah. Dan apabila Allah cintakan pada hambaNya, maka semua ciptaanNya akan cintakan pada hamba tersebut.

Dunia hanyalah sementara. Yang kekal hanyalah Allah. Tapi manusia adalah makhluk pelupa.

Sunday, 1 July 2012

Not a good question to ask...


"Don't ever ignore the people who care for you. It can truly be painful for them."

Tuesday, 26 June 2012

I'm still here...

Three months have passed since the last post and I don't know where to begin. A lot has been going on, yet I feel that most are not worth sharing since they went on in my head.

Let's try and sum up a few good ones though. I've graduated from UiTM (Finally, Alhamdulillah), searched for jobs, went for interviews, some few other ups and downs, and lot of reminiscing of the good old days.

Ever since graduating, everything about me seems to be in a constant state of longing and waiting. I think it's just me trying to adapt to the life of a post graduate but there seems to be something more to it.

It's been hard trying to look for jobs. Like I've mentioned, I've been to a couple of interviews. Mind you even if I am a TESL(Teaching English as a Second Language) graduate, I have no desire or plans to go into the teaching profession. It's not so much of I can't do it but more of a preference. The jobs that I've been applying to are mainly in copywriting, publishing, human resources and public relations. As of now, I am still waiting for any news of employment so there are no more updates on that area.

There are more things that I would like to share here but it just seems difficult to put into words now. Maybe when the time is right I'll be able to express the matters of the heart with more proficiency and do justice to what has been going on within. Maybe and maybe not.

This post is merely to show that I still live, breathe, eat and sleep; only jobless and.....well, till next time.

Tuesday, 20 March 2012

Fire within..

Ever get that feeling where somehow you feel excited for no apparent reason? I've been feeling it for the past few days. But sometimes feelings like this come and go as they please, as if carried away by the changing wind. All I know is that the heart is beating fast. But that can be for a lot of reasons. I hope it's not a health issue.

Be it anticipation, nervousness or something more sinister, I can't help but relish this feeling. Incredible, really. Feels like everything will be alright. Like a fire within, burning bright. Yet, I fear that all must turn to ash first before the forest grows anew. As always, only time will tell.

Tuesday, 21 February 2012

The Afiq Show

The Truman Show had such an impact on me when I was a child. Can you imagine yourself being trapped in a world where everyone else can see you and you are completely oblivious to it? Can you handle the fact that the people in your life are mere actors pursuing their own fame and glory? Or that everything in your life, every object and belonging are only product placements? Having recently watched the movie again, I can't help myself but feel the same way I did the first time I saw it.

"This is actually a horror movie.."

I remembered during a road trip with my family, when I asked my father whether or not I am in a television show like Truman. He just laughed and said it was absurd for something like that to be true. But then I wondered, that's what everyone said to Truman when he started to realize the fallacy of his life. I even argued that Truman had never left his hometown, which was actually a huge production set with weather control and a fake sun, and neither have I at the time. Of course my argument had to be changed to never leaving the country, since Malaysia isn't really big. But since a few years back my family and I went to Bangkok, so I guess the paranoia was all for nothing. Or was it....

 "Where are the CAMERAAS?!!"

Despite such silliness, I wanted to share the idea of us behaving the way we do whenever we are alone. We all portray a different personality, behaviours or mannerisms depending on different situations and the company at present. Sometimes it's about seeking the approval of others. However, do we remain as the same person when we are alone? Some of us have habits that we only indulge when we are alone such as drinking water from a bowl or dance to a pop song (NOT my thing) or biting our nails (Eeww).

"There's a reason for such an invention".

Okay, forget the silly examples. What I'm saying here is that I used to be careful of the way I acted whenever I was alone after watching The Truman Show. Before that, I would play with toy guns and act out imaginary action sequences. After that, I just tried to play cool and steady and try to find the mini cameras at every possible corners. Such silliness.

What I realised in the end, is that even though we may not be in a television show or subject to voyeurism, there is always Allah watching us. In Islam, we are taught to behave the best whenever and wherever we are; to know that all our deeds, good or bad, are not unseen. It is with Allah that we should be most decent, most well behave and most endearing. It is He to whom we return to. And it is Allah's approval that we should seek the most.

Saturday, 4 February 2012

Serpents and Sheep...

Break the chains that bind thee,
Seek the light for all to see.
Beware the serpent and its hiss,
Words naught but an empty promise.

The frost bites the naked steel,
A torment reminding of all that is real.
Cowards cry for a shameful respite,
The mighty slay with all their might.

A thousand wings cast their shadows,
Peasants flee the burning meadows.
Of life ruined and blood spilled,
For the law says kill or be killed.

And so ends the scribe's mourning,
The cock crows in the morning.
A shepherd rises to rally the sheep,
And evil goes into slumber so deep.


* It's been a while since I posted a poem here. Feeling a bit rusty these days. Hope this one is good enough. Enjoy.

Friday, 3 February 2012

Nicely done.

"It doesn't hurt to be nice, but it does hurt others if you are not."

Friday, 20 January 2012

Selling fishes...

"Some people are selfish and will leave you for selfish reasons. You just have to take it as a reminder to never become like them".

Sunday, 1 January 2012