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Monday, 13 October 2014


I see faces, distant and blurry,
A portrait of dreams and history.
The waves smash against heart's walls,
Blinding and tearing as love falls.

Gone are the faces, ghosts remain,
Silent and weaving, driving me insane.
Come back, come back to me,
Your splendours, I crave to see.

A blanket of shadows covers the sky,
Grey walls stand empty and dry.
The fires burn like sparkling stars,
As I search for reality, near and far.

The holes grow wider and deeper,
Honest thoughts crawl up closer.
Would someone take this heart of mine,
And tell me that all will be fine?


Note: It took quite some time for me to complete this poem. I usually write a poem within a few hours, sometimes even minutes. And the ones that take longer, I discard them altogether. With 'Grey' it took me about two months. I have always wanted to make a poem of people who I have admired, been infatuated or felt deep connections with. I don't even know some of them personally, merely observed them from afar.

Nowadays I feel as if it was all for nothing, those feelings I had for the 'ghosts'. It only seemed to be a game that the heart played, trying to fill itself with something that was never meant to be. I believe that love is always there in our hearts. It only needs a target for it to flow to. I am, of course, referring to love between people and not with God. Love towards Allah is a must and only through it can we know the true meaning of love and all that comes with it.

The reason why I could not finish the poem sooner was because it was hard to find the suitable words to express what I felt and still feel. I try my best to be honest in my writings but I am also a guarded person. Anyways, it was only until I watched 'The Fault in Our Stars' last night that I felt like finishing the poem. It sure made me mushy, if you still can't tell. Listening to "Wait" by M83 and "I Wish It Would Rain Down" by Phil Collins and Eric Clapton sure helped too.

Sunday, 7 September 2014

Hope, where are you?

I was going through my blog, looking at old posts when I realised that I miss reading your comments. The last I heard from you was about 2 years ago. Hope, if you're still out there be sure to drop by here and say hello. I hope you are doing well, wherever you are.

Thursday, 8 May 2014

The Flower

Walked through glass doors,
Into the unknown, the untamed.
Yet a single flower bloomed,
Slowly, she whispered my name.

A shade of green, a dash of blue,
An island in a silent ocean.
The moon in the stormy nights,
A light that beams with passion.

The pain and scars seem no more,
A gentle heart, a healing hand.
I wish to hold you close,
To keep you till the end.

New roads were paved,
As I stared in awe and wonder.
Will you ever be with me,
My bright and lovely flower?


If only the matters of the heart were easy. If only the choices were obvious to make. But then again if things were easy we probably would not appreciate it.

Saturday, 22 March 2014


 "What you felt in your heart when you first read the title! No? Ok.."

After more than a year of absence in the blogging scene, I have decided to make a comeback.

So many things have happened since my last post in 2012. Ups and downs, highs and lows. I do not think I will be able to share all of them here though, since it would be very taxing for me.

I hope that my experiences these past few years have made me a better and stronger person. A few days ago I decided to read some of my previous blog posts. I must say that it is quite hilarious when you read what you wrote about your own self, history, and experiences.

Looking back, I realised that I tended to be confident in my own abilities and had this feeling that nothing can go wrong or that I was incapable of making mistakes. I wouldn't say that my confidence has faded over the years. On the contrary, I actually feel more confident in my own skin nowadays. However, I know what it feels like to make mistakes and, hopefully, I have learned humility. I believe that I am more calculative these days, though my emotions do get in the way at times.

We all wish that we would be spared from making bad decisions or take a course of action that reflects poorly on ourselves and the things we represent. I know that some mistakes can be hard to learn from and that it is possible for you to make the same mistakes again.

What is truly important, at least to my understanding, is that we must continue to strive in making the best of what has happened or befallen upon us and not let it negate the good things that we have.

There's more to this post than simply a mere reflection on personal growth. These past few weeks have been quite an experience as some defining changes happened to my life. I hope that these changes will improve my character and help me in making the best decisions in my life. I am certain that I am at a critical crossroads now. Seems that big decisions need to be made soon whether I really want to do so or not. I hope that Allah Subhanahu wa ta'ala guides me in taking which road is best for me.

"Perhaps it's the road not taken that I shall traverse".

On a lighter note, I am planning on compiling some of my writings(poems, scripts, stories) that I've done during my year of absence and post it here on 'choke on this'. You didn't think I entirely gave up on writing did you? And here I thought you know me so well. Until next time(hopefully not next year - *gulps).