.......choke on this.......

Selling fishes...

2012-01-20T17:27:00.001+08:00

"Some people are selfish and will leave you for selfish reasons. You just have to take it as a reminder to never become like them".

Such is the price to pay..

2012-01-01T18:14:00.002+08:00

"A few minutes wasted can cause a lifetime of regret."

Syukur..

2011-12-28T10:23:00.001+08:00

"Give thanks to Allah Taala; for life is a blessing no matter how dire things may be."

What is up with 11?

2011-12-09T17:03:00.010+08:00

Tagged by Nadia on ridiculousME

Felt really bored and I decided to do this tag. Been ignoring it from Jeng and Azila simply because I had other matters at hand. I guess it all depends on the mood. But I will do them later. Hope you enjoy this one first. :)

TERMS and CONDITIONS:

1. You must post these rules.

2. Each person must post 11 things about themselves in their journal.

3. Answer the questions the tagger set for you in their post. And create 11 new questions for the people you tagged to answer.

4. You have to choose 11 people to tag and link them on the post.

5. Go to their page and tell them you have tagged HIM/HER.

6. No tag back!

7. No stuff in the tagging section about “YOU ARE TAGGED IF YOU ARE READING THIS” YOU LEGITIMATELY (a.k.a REALLY, TRUST, WITH ALL HONESTY) have tagged 11 people.

11 things about myself:

1. I am now curious; why 11? Could there be a double meaning here? Is there a cryptic message? I wonder...

"What happened to 7?"

2. Like I mentioned above, I am a curious person. I tend to wonder at things that sometimes can be just trivial but still I would try my best to find the answers. Example: 'Why do people in post-apocalyptic movies like "The Book of Eli" and "The Road" keep checking out each others hands?' I know the answer. Curious? Hehe..

"...it never ends."

3. I love to play computer games. But alas, my personal laptop is somewhat old and I cannot play the newer games. All the games from 2006 and above, would either just crash or lag to the point of being frozen in time. Bummer...

4. I am good at taking care of my belongings. My laptop has been with me for five years now and rarely do I have to reformat it. It's not in it's peak condition but it still looks nice and serves it's purpose.

5. I love to read books. I have four shelves in my room just filled with reading materials. I've loved fantasy since I was a kid but lately I've been reading other genres as well. Just trying to broaden my horizons.

"I wish I had one like that. The shelves I mean."

6. My family is my home; my room is my sanctuary.

7. I like to reminisce about the good old days. Lately I keep looking back at the cartoons that I loved to watch whenever I came back from school. Back before we had Astro, there was Mega TV. Cartoon Network, to me, was the most incredible channel ever at the time. Swat Kats, Scooby Doo, Dexter's Laboratory and Top Cat are just a few of the many favourite cartoons I had back then.

8. One of my many interests is to listen to songs from movies. No, not the soundtrack! The original score. Though I tend to like the scores base on the composers, usually I base my interest on individual films. Thomas Newman, Carter Burwell and James Horner are some of my favourite composers. Films like 'The Last of the Mohicans' and 'Road to Perdition' have some of the best scores I have ever heard.

9. I know that most of the time people tend to love the heroes or protagonist in stories but I somehow will mostly relate to the anti hero or antagonist more. I find their motivations to do things intriguing. The only hero that I would put above any character would probably be Batman. I've been a Batman buff since I was a kid. My family can certainly attest to that. The reason is that he has suffered the worst thing that could happen to a child, which is seeing your parents die before you, and still became a good person in the end. Usually it's the other way around.

"Your turn doctor. Tell me! What do YOU see?" - Rorschach

10. I'm certainly positive that I've mentioned this a couple of times but I love cheese. Cheddar, Blue, Parmesan or Gouda, I just love them all.

"Ya Allah..nikmat."

11. I believe that 11 questions can be long for one to answer about ones self but it sure is too short to describe the life and times of someone.

11 questions given by the author of ridiculousME, Nadia:

1.How are you?

I am fine..I think. What about you?

2.Coffee or Hot Chocolate?

Hot chocolate! Not because I love it so much but because I usually get heartburn from drinking coffee. Ouch!

3. What do you think of classical music?

I don't have any personal favourites mainly because I don't listen so much to it. I'm not well versed on the subject. But I do appreciate whenever I hear it. Probably because I love instrumental and orchestral music.

4. Describe ‘ridiculousME.wordpress.com’.

I think it's the worst ever!! Hahaha just kidding. I love the variations of posts that it has to offer. Sometimes it is informative and at times it can be very personal. Kudos to you!

5. Why do you stay up late?

I stay up late for a lot of reasons. Sometimes I read books or watch a movie. Can't seem to do them at any other time.

6. When is your favourite time of a day?

Night. I am nocturnal. Bats are nocturnal. Am I a bat? Or maybe I'm Batman. (this is what happens to you for staying up so late)

7. What do you think of Pak Li Kopitiam?

I think that it's a bit pricy. And the food isn't THAT great.

8. Describe ‘Little Kids’

Is this a TV show? I'm confused by the quotation marks. If it's about human offspring, then I would have to say that they are adorable. Sometimes they can get on your nerves with their silly antics but most of the time they're harmless....most of the time....

9. What do you think is the meaning to this sentence “where is thy blush?” (shaza je yg tau…)

'Di manakah malu anda?' (translation)

10. What is your favourite cake served at Secret Recipe?

Chocolate Indulgence. Mainly because it's the only cake that I know the name.

11. Are you tired answering these questions?

I was tired before answering them. Now I'm just sleepy. Zzzz...( _ _)

11 questions for those fortunate ones:

1. If you are a fictional character which would you prefer to be, a hero or a villain? Why?
2. What would your powers/abilities be and why?
3. What would your moniker/nickname be?
4. Where would your secret hideout be?
5. What is your Facebook or E-mail password?
6. If you could stay in another country, where would it be? Why?
7. On a bright sunny day, do you prefer to stay at home or go out? Why?
8. How would you define marriage?
9. What do you think will make you happy and content with your life?
10. During times of stress, what do you do to calm yourself?
11. Would you be willing to treat me to dinner sometime in the future?

11 people who are so fortunate to be tagged:

1. My dear sister, Sparrow_wing.
2. nenanay
3. zawanbadri
4. Syahirah Lalala
5. Azie Nazri
6. safwan
7. RustyTurtle
8. Luruninia Shuib
9. extraordinarydesign
10. azilaabidin
11. nadia (screw the terms and conditions!)

If you have done this tag then I just hope you would care to answer my 11 questions. It's okay if you don't want to. Thank you. :)

I don't like to tag people actually. But I enjoy doing them.

Old things within...

2011-11-02T19:55:00.001+08:00

"We must let go of the dark past in order to grasp a brighter future."

Let's get mushy!

2011-10-26T08:56:00.004+08:00

CAUTION: There may be traces of 'jiwangness' in the following post.

I believe that to meet someone nice, we should strive to be nice as well. There are those who constantly complain about not meeting the right girl or guy when they themselves are not even close to being called 'model citizens'.

Most of us expect to find the perfect person. But who is perfect? Those with the muscular or curvacious physique? Those who are smart, intelligent and funny all at the same time? Or is it those who have all the money in the world?

It's not actually about finding the right package. It's about searching for that one person whose behaviour we can tolerate. A person that is willing to admit his or her own weaknesses. Someone who accepts you for who you are; flaws and deformities with it.

It never is easy when matters of the heart come into question. There is no straight answer to it. No clear path, no definite solution. All it takes is patience and sacrifice.

We have to be patient with everything that we do in life. Not being so would only make us lose sight what the goals are. It's not about how early we marry or how many guests will show up for the wedding or whether or not we have the enough money about it. It's about the tying of two hearts together; celebrating a bond of love and happiness. Bear in mind that there are cases of people who cannot marry because of failing to adhere to old customs and traditions. Sometimes it's not even at their own doing but their family's and society's

Why must we make such a wonderful union, a troublesome endeavour? It's easier these days to get a divorce than to get married. It's even cheaper in fact. Not to mention faster. No guests list to be made. No dowry, no invitations. Just to and fro marches to the court and, Voila!, man and wife no more.

Sacrifices must be made. Old and irrelevant traditions should just be discarded. People need to open up their eyes and see what the world is coming to. There is no need to be dead set on maintaining culture when our very own principles and moral standings are being subject to defamation by crime, corruption and foreign influences. Most of the younger generation don't even bother with relating themselves to our culture. Not to mention that sometimes even traces of religion can no longer be seen in such trendy lifestyles that the youth have become accustomed to. (Pardon me for going a bit political here)

Being able to sacrifice ones own needs for the needs of the one we love is the key to love. I believe that we should make ourselves to be the best person we can for our significant other even if he or she may not fit our criteria or suit to our taste.

I would like to think that complaining about the other person not being nice or good enough for us is something that can be changed. Sometimes the mistakes that come from the one we love are our own personal faults as well. We like to think of ourselves as the good guys even though we tend to do bad things; it's in our nature to patronize ourselves.

To say that I, myself, am capable of doing any of those mentioned above is not true. I always forget to see beyond my own needs and demands. I can be a very selfish person. I wish that it is easy to keep to the changes and resolutions I've made, but know it not to be so. I just hope that I can find the patience and endurance to go through all of this. I just hope that I'll be able to make the sacrifices that are necessary when the time comes.

I wish and hope for a lot of things. But I wish it not only for myself but for others as well. I know that my writing may be biased in some areas. I know that I may just be all talk and no walk. This is not a solution to any problem or a powerful secret that no one else knows. This is just a piece of my mind. I have friends who are married and those who are soon to be. I have a family of my own that provides an example to me of what kind of a person I should be. I see in them love. I see in them tolerance and patience. I see in them strength.

I pray that I can be like them; to be the best that I can for the one I love. :)

On certain nights....

2011-10-14T00:05:00.000+08:00

As I wander through the night,
I see above a wondrous sight.
Trees rustled by a gentle breeze,
A waxing moon puts me at ease.

A single star by Luna's side,
The seas flow at the turn of the tide.
Leaves cast shadows and silhouettes,
Chasing away the clinging regrets.

The streets are filled with light,
As the lamps glow so very bright.
A hundred stars fell from the sky,
Leaving me to ponder why.

I gaze upon the moon and the star,
Like an ant, remote and afar.
But up there those two shine,
Telling me that all will be fine.

...........................................................~Afiq

The news..

2011-10-10T00:15:00.000+08:00

Days are added to history,
Tears etched in memory.
The pillars strong and bold,
Yet time has made it old.

Scribbles emit a story,
Of failure and epic glory.
Life ends and begins anew,
More shadows as the trees grew.

Promises are heard,
Of ways to flee the herd.
The boundaries reachable,
To break is impossible.

The arms move separately,
Showing fortune and folly.
A mystery ready to unfold,
Simple stones may become gold.

....................................................~Afiq

Of wonderful days and celebration..

2011-08-30T01:29:00.003+08:00

The beautiful month of Ramadhan has passed. It truly has been a blessing from Allah for giving us the opportunity to go through the fasting month again this year. May He give us the chance to see another Ramadhan next year and the years after.

It is a time of mourning and celebration all at once. We mourn the passing of Ramadhan, yet we welcome the coming of Syawal. It is in such time that we must learn to seek forgiveness for all our wrongdoings and to forgive and forget. And so I wish to all my fellow Muslims across this place we call Earth; Salam Eid Mubarak. May we be blessed by Allah Subhanahu Wa Taala.

Oh..and Salam Merdeka to my fellow Malaysians. It has been 54 years since our forefathers fought for our independence. Let us do justice to their sacrifice and appreciate the freedom that we have. Merdeka! Merdeka! Merdeka!

Keep it grounded..

2011-08-19T15:04:00.001+08:00

"Must learn to never let it soar too high.."

Can someone please draw me?

2011-08-15T23:15:00.002+08:00

They say silence is golden..

2011-08-15T17:39:00.000+08:00

I now realize that some things are better left unsaid. It's probably time that I keep it all to myself. I shall bid my time and wait for the opportune moment. Or maybe I should just leave it as it is. With that I would regress back into someone who I was before. Recluse. Secluded. Isolated.

But then again, did I ever changed? Or am I even that in the first place? All I know is that sometimes it's better to wait. It's better to let it work out by itself. I wish that I can believe this. I wish that it's like in the novels where there are time skips and characters have progressed to another state.

Alas we are not characters in a novel. We are characters in our own lives. And we have to endure every second of it whether we like it or not.

I shall learn to be more discreet. I shall learn to be more relevant and practical. Maybe I should discard my expressive nature. I should guard my opinions and hide them well. After all, does it even matter?

2cents from a friend..

2011-08-14T07:17:00.002+08:00

Perhaps it was in the method that the flaw was apparent. Maybe it was the delivery. But who knows? It could be that the whole thing is just wrong by itself.

Friends are hard to come by these days. Let alone true and honest ones. I would prefer companions who know where my faults are and tell me about them; even if it pains me to hear about it.

Sure initial reaction may be one of surprise which can possibly become contempt later on because honestly, it is never easy to hear anything bad about ourselves especially in terms of behaviour let alone personality. Our actions and our thoughts are remnants of our past experience. Life is learning. And life can be very hard. It is not impossible that we absorb the negativity in life that it becomes a part of us. It shapes us into who we are. It makes us think, behave and act the way we do now. And it never is easy to hear that all of this which we hold as our universal truth; as that which defines us are all wrong in the first place. But who else can we hope to here it from?

I have been told that a true friend should always be there for them. In both times of joy and of dire need. I was taught that we can tell them that they have made a mistake or that they have been doing it the wrong way. But alas, even this is not easy to uphold.

I gave you my opinion. I shared with you my thoughts and what I felt. I am sorry that you do not accept it. I am sorry that it seemed harsh to you.

I know that I am the least person to tell you of your faults. Since even I cannot easily accept it when you point out mine. But that was it. I had to tell you. I feel that I should remind you. I believe it is my duty. I believe it is right. Or maybe I am wrong.

It is all a matter of opinions. There is only one truth which you and I are all oblivious to. We cannot judge each other just as how we cannot judge ourselves. It may not be the truth. It may not be what is best for us. All we can do is pray.

I pray that I will always be a true friend to you. One that is loyal and caring. One that will be there when you need me even if you do not want me there.

Honestly, it is never easy to be a friend. The burden is heavy. It takes a toll on our hearts. But such a price is worth paying. For the bond and love that we share outweighs them all any day.

I love my best friend. Thank you for always being there for me. : )

Days to come...

2011-08-06T20:35:00.002+08:00

I hope the parts that I love and adore will stay the same. And if it doesn't, at least I hope that I'll be able to recognize them. Will it be drastic or will it be subtle? Either way, I still hope the same.

Am I RecTangled?

2011-06-21T18:16:00.001+08:00

I usually draw a rectangle whenever I write things on paper. Except for professional purposes. It happens when I make annotations or scribble down thoughts...

I know. Probably the most worthless fact about me anyone needs to know. Consider it trivial.

If only I can draw something like the picture above. But such a talent belongs to my younger sister. Me? I just make rectangles. :D

I don't need a thousand splendid ones..

2011-05-29T12:48:00.001+08:00

"There are two suns in my world. One is up in the sky, and the other is you."

I got lost somewhere, somehow..

2011-05-28T11:23:00.000+08:00

"Maybe I am not doing this right...perhaps it's time to set myself straight."

What lies within me...

2011-05-26T17:47:00.004+08:00

"Remember what Shrek said about layers?"

I am just like everyone else. Flawed. I used to believe that I am defined by the experiences, the history and origin that I have and belong to. Yet now it all does not seem to add up.

I have many insecurities about myself. I know that the only thing holding me back is myself. But reality is not as easy as fiction where one can always choose which path to take. In life, choosing is one thing but to act upon the choices we have made is another challenge altogether.

I am afraid of opening up to people. I am afraid that they would see me as vulnerable, weak and fragile. I hide behind a smoke screen of confidence, a mirror of strength and an idea of perfection. Would people cower from me if they knew the truth? Would I be exiled for it?

There are times when I feel that I am separated from the rest of humanity. I know. A very self imposed righteousness you might say. But it is felt both negatively and positively. Some days I feel that I am the worst of my kind. And there would be others when I feel that I have done something truly spectacular.

I believe that we all seek this. That uniqueness that makes us who we are. That drives us and defines us. The trait that would make us accepted by people and gain their love and approval.

The truth is, life is not consistent. You can wake up one day feeling all peachy inside and you can wake up another feeling angry at the world; as if everyone has declared war upon you. I believe that my insecurities stem from my emotions. As much as I try to portray a deadpan and cool attitude, deep down inside I am as mushy as any hopeless romantic could ever be. I wish that I can control my emotions.

"Emotions.."

What I find to be very aggravating is that deep inside my heart I know what is right and what is wrong but my emotions tend to trump every time when I decide to take action. I fear them; my emotions. I guess that is what they call a conundrum. Cannot seem to be rid of it. But I guess that is what makes us human after all. Otherwise we would just be like the mindless peons we call machines.

"Mindless and emotionless.."

I just wish that I have the power to control them. To choose how I feel. To channel the emotions by separating the positive and the negative ones. The dilemma here is that if I do have the ability to do so, would I actually do it? It comes back to the act of making a choice and acting upon that choice.

"If only it is this easy.."

Perhaps I should have more faith in people. To trust them with my insecurities, my mistakes and my flaws. I have buried myself so deep that I cannot seem to pull myself out entirely from beneath. All the scars, secrets and shadows still grip me. Maybe I am just being melodramatic. But I guess that is proof to you of how much my emotions affect me so.

To you and to all...

2011-05-04T01:45:00.003+08:00

Yes. I do sigh,
Silently when not alone.
Only at night do I cry,
In the confines of my home.

It is hard for me to let go,
I hold things close and dear.
Though I do not show,
Please stay with me here.

I wish that I am remembered,
I hope that I am cherished.
May you always be guarded,
And never be diminished.

Life and times come and go,
Treasures buried in the sand.
Never will I open the window,
For I shall keep you in my heart,
till the very end.

.................................................~Afiq

A journey farewell.

2011-04-16T19:05:00.002+08:00

Carve my name on the street,
Paint the sky a shade of green.
Close I am to admit defeat,
For the enemy is silent and unseen.

The walls are torn down,
The winding stairs stand alone.
The king has lost his crown,
The people all turn to stone.

Neither here nor there,
The search goes on for the answer.
The horses return from nowhere,
A dread breeds like a cancer.

The time has come for the end,
As all the work will be laid bare.
Here are my words to you friend,
Farewell to thee and take care.

...................................................~Afiq

My head is spinning! But..

2011-03-30T20:26:00.001+08:00

"It's funny how having a headache can sometimes make me think straight."

Akan ku tunggu....

2011-03-29T08:04:00.001+08:00

Suramnya malam tanpa mu,
tingginya langit gelap dan biru.
Di sini aku berdiri terpaku,
Selamanya akan ku tunggu.

Masa menjadi lawan,
Cita-cita ku sampai ke awan.
Bertemulah kita di sebuah taman,
Genggam tangan ku wahai teman.

Bayangan malap menusuk hati,
Aku bilang hari demi hari.
Tunggulah aku wahai bidadari,
Akan kita bersama disuatu hari.

Kasih sayang dan cinta,
Hanya dengan izin yang Maha Esa.
Kekuatan diri hanya dalam doa,
Semoga diberkati ikatan kita.

......................................................~Afiq

The most tiring trial of mine.

2011-03-25T18:17:00.001+08:00

How can I sleep?
When everything around me is crashing down.
I feel anxious, I am worried and I am scared.
So many questions and possibilities, so many scenarios,
Which will be played out? I guess no one truly knows.

I sink deeper and deeper into the floor,
The air escapes my lungs, the body aches so much more.
Why does it have to be hard when it is better easy?
I want so much to be whole and not empty.

I hear your voice, you cry and you sigh,
Ever we wonder at the question 'Why?'
We love and care so much for each other,
But why is it to others it's such a bother?

I pray that we can remain together forever,
To be each others strength and support.
To share our lives, our joys, our tears.
I hope our prayers will be answered.
For I do not want our love to be sundered.

.....................................................................................~Afiq

Verily, along with every hardship is relief~(Qur'an 94:5)

Never let go...

2011-02-26T09:03:00.002+08:00

I want to hold you tight,
To tell you that everything's alright.
To always be by your side,
As we wish each other goodnight.

Though now is not the time,
For you are not truly mine.
One day all will be fine,
My love for you is the only crime.

At times I have done you wrong,
With regret I lay all nightlong.
Yet our bond has grown strong,
For in our hearts we hear our song.

I drift to sleep with no sorrow,
For I hope to see you tomorrow.
What comes after, we never know,
Till then my dear, never let me go.

....................................................~Afiq

You and me...

2011-02-04T15:14:00.000+08:00

I want to be with you,
And you want to be with me.
Let's pray together,
for us to be happy.

.............................................~Afiq

May Allah answer our prayers and grant us happiness. : )

Let's be patient together..

2011-01-15T16:24:00.001+08:00

"The harder to get something you wish for, the more you'll appreciate it when it finally comes true."

Wishes, hopes and prayers...

2010-12-23T18:31:00.002+08:00

I understand your pain,
as I also share it the same.
I know it gives you torment,
at night alone you lament.

You are all there is to me,
worth more than all that I see.
I shall be there by your side,
we can walk together full of pride.

In your room you are always cold,
sharing all that you've never told.
I wish to keep you warm at night,
To hold on to you forever tight.

Time has passed and it seems fast,
I pray everyday that our love will last.
I hope that we will make it through,
because I know that you love me too.

.........................................................~Afiq

And that's how much I love you...

2010-12-14T18:37:00.000+08:00

"It's the little things that you do that make me love you all the more"

Take this journey with me...

2010-12-12T17:53:00.001+08:00

"Life is a journey that is more worthwhile when you have someone to share it with.."

The moment I held your hand..

2010-12-07T15:29:00.002+08:00

It's in the afternoon and what a cold day it has been. I like this kind of weather. Feels nice. I feel that I am in a dream. A sequence set in a place where the sunlight cuts through the silver clouds and dances with the shadows below. Maybe I am in a dream. What day is today? Is it Friday? Maybe I'm still asleep. I'm stuck in a dream for weeks long. And what a very long dream it is. Maybe it's the 16th of October. I was born on that day. I probably felt so happy that day that I never wanted it to go away. We all hold on to things that make us happy. Maybe I just don't want to let go.

But I know that I am awake. How do I know this? Maybe because I keep getting happier with each passing day. Maybe because I feel the cold in my breath and the warmth in my chest. It's also probably because I can feel my stomach fluttering at this very moment. The tingling feeling in my fingers as I am typing this somewhat proves as well that I am awake. What truly makes me certain that I am in the real world though, is the feeling of my own heartbeat every time I remind myself of a person. A person that I once saw in a dream. I held the hand of that person once. Though in a dream nothing is tangible, it felt so real to me. And maybe....just maybe I am still in that dream. What a wonderful dream it is.

May it last forever. And if it doesn't, may you be there when I wake up. :)

A few choices one can make..

2010-12-06T17:40:00.000+08:00

" There are three choices. Tell the truth, create a lie or just remain silent..."

The moon in the water....

2010-11-18T22:32:00.000+08:00

In the water I can fly,
In the water there is no heat.
In the water I can cry,
In the water I hear my heartbeat.

Tonight the silence is set in stone,
Tonight I cannot see the moon.
Tonight I feel so alone,
Tonight I wish that I will see you soon.

............................................................~Afiq

Note: I wrote this one while I was swimming in the pool just now.

Periods...

2010-11-17T20:41:00.001+08:00

"Place a full stop at the end of a sentence and the story comes to an end. But add one or more, then the readers will wonder....maybe there's more to it all...."

( : : )

2010-11-04T14:48:00.001+08:00

" I wanna be close to you and keep you safe. Stay with me." ^__^

P.S. - This is my 100th post!!! xD

Dear you,

2010-10-25T20:03:00.001+08:00

I found courage and life in you,

A spirit so strong and true.

Words spoken with wisdom,

Transcending love and freedom.

More than just a pretty smile,

My heart stopped for a long long while.

A dream came of holding your hand,

Thoughts of losing you I can never stand.

The rain falls and all is cold,

Things said that were never told.

I offer you nothing more than my heart,

I cannot bare the thought of being apart.

Your voice brings peace to me,

Shown on my face for all to see.

My heart soars to places high above,

For what keeps it afloat is your sweet,

sweet love.

.............................................................~Afiq

What Allah SWT has in store for us......

2010-10-06T21:39:00.007+08:00

This post is actually a respond to another blog post by a person that I know of. I pray that this can be of some significance to you and to me. Here goes...

The usual debate about Fate is always whether we truly are in control of our lives or like you mentioned, merely puppets attached to strings.

Fate has been determined by Allah you say. What is Fate then? A plan? A pathway that man traverse in order to seek the end? What is at the end? A bright light? Or a dark pit?

We question so much about Fate yet it is not that difficult to comprehend. You see, we as human beings and as servants of Allah DO NOT KNOW what each of our Fate is. You say that God is cruel. It may seem so now. But how sure are you that things wouldn't change for the better? That this suffering or pain will one day fade away and happiness will truly come?

We don't know what lies at the end of our Fate or Destiny. We can see beyond whats in front of us in the present. We can only plan for the future. We can predict it. But NEVER can we know what will come to pass.

Some say that if everything is predetermined then why bother being good and pray to Allah? "I'm an evil person. I like to fornicate and drink and gamble. That is my Fate. This is who I am. God has made me this way."

We choose the path......

This is just an excuse for people who are cowards and weak. We have been given a choice. We CHOOSE to be who we are. That is not determined. We were all born the same. Sinless and innocent. Yet why is it that we become horrid creatures when we grow up? Because we chose to be so. Don't blame the upbringing. Yes it has it's role but one can only give so much nurturing to actually shape a person's personality.

We did this to ourselves because of our own weakness.....

We each have our own Fate. But with Fate comes 'rezeki'. Did you know that if your rezeki is that you will eat a single piece of bread before the moment of your death that you will not die UNTIL you actually have eaten that single piece of bread?

Another gift that Allah SWT has given us is actually a tool that can change our Fate. This tool is known as the 'Doa'. Why do you think we pray? A daily ritual just for the fun of it? No. We do not know where our place is in the afterlife. We don't know whether we'll be the same person then than we are now. Only through our prayers that we can actually determine which path to choose. Which Fate to choose. Our Doa can change Qadha and Qadhar.

Submission....

And yet some would say,"I have prayed but Allah has not given me anything that I prayed for." Ask them this - Do you pray to Allah ONLY when you need something from him? Only when something bad has befallen upon you? Do you count your blessings that you can breathe, eat and love everyday? Do you remember him during times of ease?

You see it's not whether we turn to Allah SWT when we face difficulties that counts as something. It's the fact that when we are content with life or when we are successful or when we have everything that we had hoped for - do we still remember Him?

I may be able to say that my faith in Allah is strong. And it's only me saying. But I can never know for sure. I can never know whether or not my faith will ever waver. Who knows? One day I might become the most ruthless dictator in the world. And that would be at my OWN choice.

We are all young on this so very old world. There are so many answers that we don't even know what the question is. All we can rely on is our faith in Allah SWT and the knowledge that Allah SWT knows what is best for you and all of us. What we want may be something that we do not need. What we have may not be something that is the best for us. Only Allah SWT knows.

Look at the blessings of life. With the Fate that you have, look at the people in your life. The ones who you care about. I look at my family and I see God. I look at the wonders of nature and I see Allah SWT. I feel grateful that I have been blessed by the love given by people who care for me. By being surrounded by people that have appreciated me. But even if I were a pauper and alone I should not forget about Allah SWT or think Him cruel.

Subhanallah....

Remember the 2 most important aspects of Faith or Iman is 'Syukur' and 'Sabar'

What is Syukur? Syukur is when you remember Allah SWT even if you don't have anything or anyone in life or when misfortune falls upon you.

Sabar is when you abstain or refrain yourself from doing anything that Allah SWT has forbade us to do.

I'm not saying that I am pious or anything. I'm not saying that I am perfect or without flaws. In fact I am just the opposite. What I have mentioned above is mostly for me.

I hope this helps you and I strengthen our love and obedience to Allah SWT. I pray that Allah SWT blesses us with all the virtues in life. Never give up hope my friend. Never lose faith. Never let evil bring you down. Never give up on Allah SWT. For he has not given up on you. Wallahualam Bissawab. Peace my friend. v(^_^)v

p/s: I purposefully did not give any Quranic verses or Hadiths as my own knowledge is not that great. Please refer to a real Ustaz or anyone more intellectual in matters of Islam. Thank you.

Remember people....

2010-10-05T01:16:00.000+08:00

....that nothing good ever comes out of evil. So be good.... :)

.....or thou shall meet thy maker soon. xD

I'm off the line.....

2010-09-29T09:46:00.000+08:00

The internet in my house has been down for almost a week now and it really is starting to piss me off. Got loads of stuff to do and I can't do any one of them.

To everyone who is reading this, I would like to apologize for not being able to update my blog and log in to my Facebook. I know that there are a lot of posts and comments on my page that I have not replied to. I just can't wait until I can get online again. Until then I'll be AFKing. Hahaha.

8?

2010-09-17T22:32:00.001+08:00

Do I deny this,

when I want so very much to accept it?

Am I being fooled or am I just fooling myself?

Is it merely an illusion or a dream come true?

Is it an obstacle or a pathway to hopeful days?

Is it a change I am willing to make?

Is it a charge I am willing to take?

Will I be able to make it through?

Will it truly be you?

........................................................~Afiq

Suatu hari, suatu pagi...

2010-09-13T08:35:00.000+08:00

Aku menangis diawal pagi,
Hanya tinggal aku seorang diri.
Dosa yang ku lakukan berkali-kali,
Tidak mampu aku jauhi.

Aku hamba yang tidak berdaya,
Hatiku berparut, ditikam, terluka.
Titik hitam bertompok di dada,
Aku mohon ampun dari Maha Esa.

Titisnya air mata kerana sedih,
Pilu di hati teramat pedih,
Aku mengharap air yang jernih,
Apa yang ku dapat hanyalah letih.

Apa itu kasih dan cinta?
Adakah duka dan sengsara?
Layakkah aku untuk merasa?
Sedangkan dunia hanyalah sementara.

Aku ingin menjadi insan,
Yang membawa satu harapan.
Menanam pokok di sebuah taman,
Membina hidup dengan iman.

Keikhlasan aku bercelaru,
Akibat lidah yang suka menipu.
Hanya berdoalah yang ku mampu,
"Ampunilah diriku."

........................................................~Afiq

"Selamat Hari Raya dari Mohd Afiq sekeluarga!!"

Salam Aidilfitri to anyone who is reading this. I pray that you can find it in your heart to forgive me for all my faults and wrongdoings. I know that I have lots of them as I am only human. May Allah SWT bless us all. o(^-^)o

"Daily Routine"

2010-09-01T18:44:00.006+08:00

I woke up this morning feeling lightheaded. But just like everyday I took my shower, ate my breakfast, packed my bags and walked down the street to the bus stop. It was a routine and one that I have never seemed to fail at doing.

The bus came late today. In fact it didn't come at all. While I was walking on my way to the office I realized that the streets were empty. Devoid of any vehicle or any sound. As a matter of fact no single human being was in sight. Could I have been dreaming? If so, then it sure is the worst kind. I screamed and shouted, calling for anyone to hear me. But all I could hear were echoes of my own shaky voice.

I arrived at the office around noon. Took the elevator to the ninth floor and headed towards my cubicle. I sat down and tried to digest what was going on or what had happened to make every single human being disappear. I was afraid, thinking of the possibility that I would be alone forever. Everyone's gone. The bus driver. The mail man. The neighbours and their pestering kids. The clowns. The newsreader on television. My boss. My friends. My family.

I went back home in the evening. It sure was a long and cold walk. I could have just taken a car or even a bus and drove back home. But I thought it was better for me to just stick to the routine. Maybe it would help me keep my sanity. Yes, going one whole day without speaking to a person really does things to your mind.

I reached home and like always took of my clothes and had a nice cold shower. I made spaghetti for dinner. I savoured every bite as if it was the last meal I would ever have. Who knows....maybe I was merely a setback. Maybe I got left behind. Maybe tomorrow I'll be able to go to where everyone has gone to. Maybe everyone would come back and say that it was all a hoax. Maybe I truly am alone.

I went to bed at 11 pm as usual. I blocked my mind from thinking of what might be in store for me tomorrow.

There was no point in doing so. I could never be certain of where the story would lead me. But I guess until the end comes all I can do is stick to my routine.

..............................................................................................~Afiq

Hope you enjoy this short story of mine. Wrote it today at 5.40 pm. xD

When it's cold..........

2010-08-07T22:01:00.000+08:00

The skin's shedding like a snake's,

The earth crumbles when it quakes.

A dream so far it seems so small,

One day I'll reach it when I'm tall.

In the shadows alone and cold,

Clinging on to memories so old.

The ceiling's high under the sky,

As I lay down watching it all go by.

The green garden lushes in spring,

The light sparkles on a diamond ring.

Time hides both truths and lies,

Unveiled when I am old and wise.

Across the seas ships traverse,

To answer myths of the universe.

I lay in wait bidding my time,

Until the time comes when you are mine.

.............................................................~Afiq

Elephants have 4 knees......

2010-08-02T22:17:00.000+08:00

............and now you know. xD

Tomorrow never dies......but people do......lol

2010-07-26T15:07:00.000+08:00

"The anticipation of my tomorrows is killing me today......."

I am disappointed....

2010-07-23T14:18:00.000+08:00

Dalam keadaan demam ku ke sekolah,
Dalam keadaan demam ku marah,
Dalam keadaan demam ku pulang ke rumah,
Dalam keadaan demam hati ku pasrah.

.............................................................~Afiq

Of all the days, it had to be today!!

2010-07-15T14:46:00.004+08:00

So now I am a teacher. Well, a trainee teacher to be exact. It's been almost a month now and I've gotten used to the school's environment. The students are great, at least those in my classes are. The rest.....well let's just say that the synonym with the word school can sometimes be madhouse. All in all it is a new experience but sure is a tiring one.

As a trainee I have to be observed both by a mentor(an established English teacher in school) and a supervisor(lecturers assigned to monitor our progress during the whole practicum) a few times during the whole practicum. I've been observed once by my mentor and it went well. But today marks the first visit from my supervisor.

As usual the butterflies keep spawning in my belly and everything seems so unclear. I planned my lesson well. It was a double period class( first two periods, morning session) thus time management is of the essence. I received a text around 7.35 a.m. from my supervisor saying that she had just arrived. The butterflies just went supernova!!!

I met her at the parking lot and brought her to my class(4 Bestari). All seemed well until the moment when we came in sight of the class and I realized that something was wrong.

"It was pure MANIAAAA!!" (exaggeration)

It was mass panic!!! Students running around the corridor with horror stricken faces as if it was the end of the world!! My thoughts - "Why does it have to be today?" (-_-")

I calmed down, took charge and asked what was going on. The students said that there was a present in the middle of the class. ?????!!! What?!! Suddenly the wind blew my way and I smelled the horrendous stench that caused such a commotion. Went into the classroom and saw for myself an unsightly pile of.......yup you guessed it.......SHIT!!!!

"If you think this pic is adorable then something is wrong with you..."

"Who did this or what did this??" I asked my students. It was one huge pile of dung at my first thought was vandalism. My students said that a cat did it. I didn't believe them and I still don't. Cause if it was a cat, then that cat must have eaten a DOG!!!

"Beware of cats and their presents......."

And so I was worried. Had to find other options. Adopt and adept. Analyze the situation. Deduced the possibilities and predict the outcomes. Found a solution. Bingo!! The SAL(Self Access Learning) Room.

The students sure were excited about getting out of the class and I for one don't blame them. And so the lesson started very late, almost entering the second period. I managed to cut out parts of my lesson which were not that important and focused on the main activities.

It sure went well in the end. My supervisor gave great comments and feedbacks and all was good. She even acknowledged that I was quick to handle emergency cases and that the lesson was well conducted. Saw a glimpse of the marks and it sure made me smile. (^___^)

Who knew that having such an awful situation could end up being a part a bright sunny day.

Moral values learned:

1) Always expect the unexpected. Expect it on important dates especially when there are observations.

2) Never show fear and panic when faced with weird and disgusting scenarios.

3) Shit happens. LITERALLY!!!!

"So that was what they were talking about"

p/s: Thank you to my supervisor for being very understanding and for giving inspiring comments.

p/ss: Chip!!! We did good!! haha

And last and not the least p/sss: Thank you so much to my students in 4 Bestari for being such wonderful students. You guys are awesome. I'll be sure to give you guys a treat. :))

About other muses....

2010-07-10T15:23:00.000+08:00

"I'd rather listen to a cryptic lyric than an obvious oblivious one"

I shall be heard!!

2010-07-05T21:58:00.001+08:00

"Whoever said that being a teacher is easy can just shove it! It's tiring!!"

p/s: I'm doing my practicum now, teaching form 4 students @ SMK TTDI Jaya. Will not be able to post things as regularly as I would like to. Ho hum... 8(

Can't wait for 'Eclipse' wuhu!!

2010-06-06T23:21:00.001+08:00

As I was sitting in my dad's car on our way to my aunt's house, I saw a huge billboard with a poster on it of the upcoming Twilight sequel, 'Eclipse'. Now I know that this may come as a shocker to those who personally know me as I have been very critical on the Twilight movies since its adaptation to the silver screen a few years back. I bet all the dudes are now saying "GAAAY!!" or that this is "FAAAKE!!". No my fellow grunts, I am not gay and no this is not a fake. Sure the last two movies have been, for lack of a better term, crap.

Even Leslie Nielsen's Dracula had more balls than those tweeny boppers

But I do believe that the producers of Twilight have decided that it's time to cater to a wider range of demographics and satisfy some of the audiences who hunger for a little dose of testosterone ridden, angst filled and blood spilling action style of a storyline. This, they believe, will help salvage the vampire genre since the last two films have been disastrous(fans of the novels were also critical about the movies as well) and killed the genre as a whole.

Both Louis de Pointe du Lac and Prince Vlad wept at the premiere of Twilight. Their thoughts - 'Twilight' did to vampires what 'Brokeback Mountain' did to cowboys.

So what's new this time around? I heard from a somewhat reliable source that the movie 'Eclipse' is going to be much, much darker than its predecessors. Gone it seems are the crappy one liners from that pale looking pole of a man named Edward and the emo-driven screams of Bella Swan, which was more like that of a woman in labour than a depressed young juvenile delinquent. The story will include a more action oriented theme and seems that the fight sequences are something to look forward to. But one thing that trumps above all else is the introduction of a new nemesis for the skinny vampires and their shaggy wolf clan peons. Nope, it's not the Victoria character and her whole legion of newborn vampires. People, please. If I were excited about that then I AM GAY!!! hahahaha

Oh my. What scary looking vampires! Looks like one of those actors in 'Gossip Girl'. FAIL!!

No. This nemesis, this more than worthy adversary is none other than the mofoipawnsissyvampiren00bs - BLADE!!!!!

"Can thou blush?" said Blade to the amateurs in Twilight.

Yup. Instead of adding another sequel to his own franchise, Blade decides to step into the world of Twilight and show these wannabes what makes a true bloodsucker great. Or maybe he's just jealous of all the attention that Edward's been getting these days. Who can blame him? One thing is for sure though. I am now definitely psyched to go watch this movie. Mind you, we're just a few weeks shy of watching the reboot of the awesomeness that is the vampire genre by our hero, Blade the Daywalker.

Blade - "It's my turn to shine, biatch."

Edward to Bella - "So long sweet cakes!! Adios!!"

p.s.- Satire people. Satire. (^o^)

Sometimes...

2010-05-25T22:23:00.000+08:00

"Sometimes all that it takes to make it okay, is the coming of a bright new day"

What you really need in order to be an actor

2010-05-23T16:30:00.004+08:00

Now this is what we call versatility.....

Apa aku suka buat.....

2010-05-15T18:29:00.004+08:00

It has been quite awhile since I've posted anything on my blog. Can't seem to find the time to actually think of anything anymore.The words are there in the back of my head. A voice that's pushing my emotions into thoughts and is just waiting to be heard. But sometimes emotions and what we feel can never be written.

Aku suka berjalan
dan aku suka berfikir
sekali sekala aku akan bercakap apa yang ada di kepala
tetapi kebiasaanya aku hanya berdiam diri sahaja......

Aku suka berjalan
tetapi benci berlari
mengejar dunia yang tidak mampu dikecapi
membutakan jiwa dan melukakan hati......

Aku suka berjalan
dan aku suka membaca
huruf dan abjad menggambarkan fikiran
membuatkan aku sedar apa yang tidak dikelihatan.....

Aku suka berjalan
dan aku suka berfikir
tetapi yang paling aku suka buat ialah menulis
kerana itu sahaja yang aku mampu lakukan dengan sepenuh hatiku
tanpa segan silu......tanpa sedih dan pilu......

.....................................................................~Afiq

Note: I don't know if this can be considered a 'puisi' or 'sajak' or anything. It came at the spur of the moment and is in Bahasa Melayu. BM for the win!!

It never fails to brighten up my day....

2010-04-07T13:54:00.001+08:00

"Seeing you smile, makes it all worthwhile.." o(^__^)o

Not a good day at all.....

2010-04-01T16:39:00.000+08:00

I am a fool. I know what I have to do but I don't know how. I am too stubborn to know what is good for me. I am still in denial of reality. I cling on to false hopes and childish dreams. It was all a mistake. I knew it from the start. But like I said, I am a fool. I thought that come what may, at least I can always say that I tried.If only I am heartless. If only I'm not empathic by nature. It's all a hindrance. If only I am cold hearted. Then I wouldn't be bothered with the world. Then I wouldn't get hurt at all. I would be invincible. I would be alone....

G, C, D and the codes go on.....

2010-03-22T18:01:00.002+08:00

"I can't believe I wrote a song for you today. Here goes....." (fade-in, strums the guitar)

Fear no more...

2010-03-19T15:32:00.004+08:00

How could such a small man moved the hearts of a nation? How was he able to demand such atrocities be committed? Why is it that no one orders virtue to be done? What wrong is there in doing what is right? Why can't the innocent have this strong a leader?

I heard once that to do good is easier than doing something bad. If that is the case, then why is there so much evil in the world? Infants are being discarded as if they are mere wastes. No. It is you who are the wastes. People are now baby killers. What ever happened to the world? Easier to do good than bad? Well I guess most of us like it the hard way then.

Our days go by, one by one. We bid our time slowly even though time is on no one's side.All of us look away from the darkness. But some have embraced it. These are the ones that would deny the dreams that others hold so that they can satisfy their own twisted desires.

But the innocent should fear not. Wake up. Hold fast. Stand strong. For you are not weak. You have warred with your greatest enemy ever, your lust. Evil is weak. Those who do bad are never mighty. They have fears. They fear so much at being victims that they fail to be heroes.

Who do we trust? I have learned to not trust though it is poison to me. But it's not others that I don't trust. I don't trust my judgments. I am afraid of making the wrong decisions. The one that I've disappointed the most is myself.

But all can change. Old resolutions can easily be replaced by more noble ones. I now stare at the shadows. I feared it once. No more. I only feared my inability to do action not the darkness itself. I realize now that to have faith and hope for the best, helps in braving the mysteries of the future. I shall no longer beat myself up. I shall always try and never give up. I shall see the beauty of the world rather than its ugliness. It's all perception. We have a choice. It's all up to us.

Even in a crowd we are individuals. Random tales that converge in a mutual setting. There is sadness and madness. There is joy and mirth. Numerous sides of a coin passing through the stream of life. If only we would all look up to each other and smile.

Yes that's it. A smile. I shall look at the darkness and give it a smile. Maybe it'll go away. And even if it doesn't, then I can always say that I tried. I can say that I never wavered. My faith unshaken. I pray for that strength.

I guess it is easier to do good. I mean come on. It's just a smile. 8)

The choices I've made....

2010-03-18T01:29:00.003+08:00

"I want to protect you from all the troubles of the world. I choose to save you from its horrors. Won't you do the same for me? Will you not save me too?"

A gift of words for a mother...

2010-03-14T01:47:00.002+08:00

I should have posted this two weeks ago but with all the workload that needed doing I couldn't find the time to do so. On the 28th of February my mom celebrated her 48th birthday (hope she doesn't mind me mentioning her age here). Anyways, I usually leave it up to my sisters to pick her presents and I would chip in with the money. This year I thought I would do something different for her. And since she's been bugging me to write a poem about her I thought I'd give her just that as a gift. I didn't write it on paper since my hand writing is not that admirable(it's not nice at all) so I printed it on paper and pasted it on a card that I bought. Here goes the poem:

Mother,
You were there to give me guidance,
You smiled at me with glowing radiance,
Yours was the touch both gentle and kind.
You can hold me forever and I wouldn't mind.

Mommy,
I hold you dear in my heart,
For I always cry when we are apart.
Life to me can be a dark terrible fight.
But you have always been my hope of light.

Mama,
You see my worth even when I fail,
You give me courage to storm the trail,
You built the stairs for me to climb,
To seek happiness till the end of time.

Momsy,
You are the inspiration of my life,

The bravest of mothers and a loving wife.
You give me strength that I can boast.
You are the person I cherish the most.

And all your deeds I may never be able to repay,
But today I wish you a very happy birthday.

......................................................................~Afiq

Took me about two hours to come up with it. Pretty taxing if you ask me. But it sure was worth it. I'm glad that she loved it. Proof?? I made her cry while I was halfway reading it. :)

My mom & I

*Thank you Cekyam for reminding me that I wanted to post this poem on my blog.

Is someone there?

2010-03-07T13:10:00.002+08:00

"I reach out my hand, but no one grabs it....no one."

In time...

2010-02-23T21:11:00.000+08:00

"Everything is different. Nothing is the same anymore. Everything changes. Nothing lasts..but some things do."

Ponder on the wonders yonder

2010-02-22T22:49:00.003+08:00

I am sitting in my room, pondering. The days to come shall be a mystery to me and to all. As I am sitting, a friend outside my room lights up a cigarette. I can hear the sound of the match scraping the side of the box. The smell of burnt wood jolts me into reality. What a sensation to my senses.

I have nothing more to say. The words slipped from my thoughts. I guess sometimes we take things for granted. Oh well, I'll just go back to my pondering again.....

I woke up to a dream...

2010-02-19T18:48:00.004+08:00

I woke up to a sudden jolt. I was sweaty. It was very hot despite having the air conditioner at 25 degrees. I was parched. I looked at the time. It was 5.38 a.m. I got out of bed, went to the bathroom, washed my face and drank a glass of water. Poured a second fill and I began to wonder, how can dreams be so horrible? I was suddenly gripped with fear. I looked at the shadows. I peered through the silence, listening to whatever sound that I could here just to find out if I was truly awake.

My dreams have been somewhat vivid these past few nights. Once I dreamt that the earth quaked and trembled. That all was dark and I was alone. And afterwards I would wake up feeling tired and drained, like I had been running for so long.

I dreamt of people. Some were known, some unfamiliar at all. New faces pieced together by figments of imagination or perhaps someone long forgotten. What I do remember is that they were all gone as the dreams were about to end. Yet some remained. They were those who wanted to hurt me. To cause damage physically, mentally, emotionally.

Last night's dream was the worst. I wasn't hurt. But I saw others that were. I saw children. I saw people wanting to hurt their fellow man. I saw the maniacal grin on a man. He said words that were as poison. It was filled with corruption. A voice that spoke of selfishness and deceitful desires. I saw....

I once thought myself that I am fearless. That my enemies could only hurt my flesh. That it would be a pain only temporary. I realized that this is not so.

I have felt the touch of fear. It was when I heard my sister screamed once. It was then that I knew that I could never be without fear as long as I cared for others. That as long as I have someone to love, losing them would be my worst fear.

I asked for a sign. To know if I had made the right decisions in my life. If I had taken the right path.

Time moves quickly and every day fleets by as if they are mere seconds. People are forgetful. We come to a sudden virtuous resolve only to discard it later when it seems to be inappropriate at the time.

I don't want to forget. My dreams are vivid for a reason. They are teaching me. Guiding me. They are visions of what must be done and what to evade. Windows to a mystery with veils that hide it's true purpose. I hope that some would come true. Those that are filled with happiness and joy. Those where I can see people smile. Dreams where I am smiling with them as well.

Pardon me for my ramblings. I haven't been quite myself these days. I am sleepy. How can I not be? For even in my dreams I am wide awake.

Reach to fly....

2010-02-16T12:29:00.000+08:00

I reach out for the sky,

With my empty hands held high,

As I aim to leap and fly,

To a place where none shall cry.

The winds will heavily blow.

The sun a bright golden glow.

Passing mountains of misty snow.

To a place even I don't know.

Perhaps to a green field beyond,

or to a land forever dawn,

or a kingdom where farmers yawn,

with a mighty crest of a silver swan.

And when you ask me why,

know that my love for you shall not die.

For never will I say goodbye,

Until the story ends with you and I.

.............................................~Afiq

Two strangers in a dream

2010-02-05T23:41:00.002+08:00

I saw you in my dream last night.
Lovely and elegant as ever.
Unsure of what to do and say.
You looked at me and whispered.
Forever it seems I've known you,

Yet strangers we were in truth.
Then something displeased you.
You turned away and left.
You were gone and I was alone.
Like all dreams I tried to reach out.
Only to remain frozen and static.
Sorry am I for my lack of effort.
But can you blame me?
For I only see you in my dreams,

And never in reality.

..................................~Afiq

It's true

2010-01-28T12:07:00.003+08:00

"You are more than just an idea. You are my truth."

Just a glimpse...

2010-01-24T11:42:00.001+08:00

"A glimpse of you is like a view of the world to me...."

Out by the box car

2010-01-17T18:35:00.004+08:00

"52 days"

Everything is anything

2010-01-10T00:38:00.003+08:00

"I can't give you everything, but I'd give anything for you."

The Wugs are here!!

2010-01-08T00:53:00.004+08:00

This might just make my Second Language Acquisition class all the more interesting. XD

Tangible

2009-12-30T22:35:00.007+08:00

All my flaws make me real,
All my scars make me stronger,
All my griefs make me sane,
All my memories make me who I am.

.................................................~Afiq

To describe...

2009-12-14T23:45:00.005+08:00

Pale persona.
Shattered hands.
Grey skies.
Thin shadows.

Lost words.
Empty chair.
Silent mind.
Broken home.

Silver smoke.
Subtle whispers.
Simple ideals.
Torn curtains.

Numbered days.
Failed promises.
Clouded vision.
Colorful dreams.

...............................~Afiq

From a stranger...

2009-12-06T17:36:00.003+08:00

Always and forever,
this feeling will linger.
But to you heart's desire,
I am still a stranger.

.............~Afiq

The 'terbaik'

2009-12-02T23:41:00.002+08:00

Is that I will do the best that I can
To be a good example of man
I know one day that you`ll understand
You deserve the best that I am
You deserve the best that I am

Flaw ~ Best I Am

Why we hate each other...

2009-12-01T14:30:00.008+08:00

Talk about being emo.. =P

Everybody hates everybody and everybody hates me…

My dad hates me.

My mom hates me.

My brothers hate me.

My sisters hate me.

My children hate me.

My grandparents hate me.

My cousins hate me.

My friends hate me.

My neighbours hate me.

My colleagues hate me.

My teachers hate me.

The bureaucrats hate me.

The ministers hate me.

The liberals hate me.

The conservatives hate me.

The doctors hate me.

The police hate me.

The old people hate me.

The teenagers hate me.

The women hate me.

The clowns hate me.

My enemies hate me.

But I hate myself even more. I’m ashamed of myself even more. Why? Because I am a failure. In fact, every one of the above is a failure as well. I am the by product of their thoughts. I am the hole that they fill in with their hate. I failed. I failed to stop bad things from happening. I wasn’t able to stop the fire. I wasn’t able to keep the peace. I only stood silent. You all hate me because you see yourself in me. You see a reflection of all the failures in your life. Don’t worry. I’m not giving myself any credit here. I’m insignificant. But you know I speak the truth.

The world is a shitty place. People are not nice. Families fall apart in the name of lust. People kill in the name of vengeance. The urge for earthly pleasures and the greed for wealth are too strong for all even the righteous to resist. I see them break. I see them stumble. I see them weak. Only strong when they are destroying each other. I hate them. Because I see myself in them. I see what they are capable of. And the fear of me becoming one of them grips at me with icy fingers, chilling me to the core. What am I saying? I am one of them.

No. I do not hate you. I am not ashamed of you. And it’s not that I don’t love you.

I don’t want to fail others. I want them to know how precious they are. That is why I choose to be distant. To save myself from failing others. To save myself from getting hurt. To live alone where no one can hurt me. But the price I pay is too dear. For I become cold and bitter.

If only there is a place where there is no hate. A place where people can truly be happy. But that’s not the world we live in. That’s not life. In life there is betrayal, anger, murder, divorce, thievery, torture, ignorance, greed, adultery, corruption and all the other vices.

I am just one man, as much as any man can be. My flaws are visible. Clear to the gazes of those few who even care to look. You can hate me for it. Despise me for it. Judge me. Chastise me. Destroy me. Save me. Save me from this world. Save me from the stupidity and the temporariness of life. Make me see the truth. Give me hope.

I don’t want to disappoint others. But most of all I don’t want to disappoint myself. So please don’t lose hope in me. For I don’t want to lose hope in this world.

What am I going on about this for? In the end nobody cares. But I'd like to think that people do.

Now this is right... 8)

"Make You Smile"

2009-11-02T22:25:00.008+08:00

This song has always been one of my favorites. I could listen to this for hours and wouldn't even get bored of it. I like the fact that it's a duet between Mark Hoppus and Carol Heller from +44. You rarely get duets nowadays especially with rock groups. It's too bad that Carol left the band later on. They would have probably made some pretty good music had she stayed.

There's no official video to this song since it wasn't release as a single, but I did stumble upon this fan made rendition to it. This song has always been one I can relate to and I'm sure almost everyone can as well. I know that the lyrics are kinda sad, but I couldn't help but smile as I watched this video. Guess the song managed to live up to it's name. 8)

This song is dedicated to a certain someone.......

p/s: I like the part when their dancing and wiggling their feet. XD

A boy who turned double2.....

2009-10-20T19:49:00.003+08:00

Sheer pain. That's how I would describe this whole week. Mind you it's still only Tuesday. 3 more days to the end of the semester and finally we will be rid of all these......ASSignments!!

But enough about this week. Let's talk about last week.

On Friday the 9th 'choke on this' turns 1.

On Thursday the 15th my dad turned 50.

And on Friday the 16th I turned 22.

22!!!

Man I feel old. Old as in I've lived in this world for 22 years. As in the experiences that I've gained, both good and bad have help made me become who I am today. No need to be all emotional and nostalgic. I still feel like a kid. Maybe I am a kid. A 16 year old soul trapped in an adult shell of a man. Guess age means more reminiscing of olden days. It's like a history lesson of your own life.

22 years old means that I am now a man. Not a kid. Not a punk. I think I know what it's like to be a man. I think that a man has to put the needs of others before his own. I think that the act of selflessness and sacrifice are what clearly defines a real man. But all in all humility is the most prized trait of all; to know your limitations, to see the values of others and to realize that a man is only a ripple on the deep wide ocean that is the universe.

I do pray that I'll be able to see the values of others, that I'll be able to treat others with kindness and respect. I wish that I can be a humble person. A person that realizes the values of his family and his friends. But most of all, I hope to become a man that can sacrifice his own needs and desires to bring joy to others if only for a while. I hope....

Me like presents! Got a cool Casio watch from my parents.... 8)

I only had 1 slice of this cake. The rest was munched down by cousins, sisters, an uncle and an aunt and two dear parents. hahaha

Once again I'd like to thank everybody who gave me their wishes and prayers. Whether through Facebook or by phone call, SMS, smoke signal, telegram, Morse Code and good ol' fashion word of mouth, your wishes will forever be held dear to me.

p/s: I'm still waiting for birthday gifts. hahahah XD

Mend me

2009-10-14T21:39:00.003+08:00

It takes time
To heal the wound I've made along the way
If I'm blind
Open my eyes 'cause I need to see again

If I can feel again
Will you tell me now
Or wait til I'm broken down again
Save me now
I'm broken

If I bleed
My lies won't fill the emptiness inside
I just need
For something real to open up my mind

Breaking down
I'm breaking down
Breaking down
I'm breaking down
It takes time

Sevendust ~ Broken Down

I AM 1 YEAR OLD!!!!!

2009-10-09T19:14:00.005+08:00

HI...the name's 'choke on this'. I'm a blog whose birthday is TODAY!!!!! 1 year old. Still a young-ling, I know. But a lot has happened since then, for my blogger is one fellow who's a dear actually but is sometimes crazy. I mean come on, how demented can you be if you name yourself Farzen Master?? But enough about him. Let's talk about me! (^_^)

Now here is the part where people would go "SPEECH, SPEECH, SPEECH!!"........Fine. I'll give one.

I'd like to thank my followers, visitors and readers for all their support and love. I really appreciate you guys leaving inspiring and lovely comments on Farzen's works coz the dude is kinda bad in writing actually. All those fantasies and ideas in his head are just terrible. I wonder how you guys can even read it. pfft...

But still, I'm glad that you do read it. I'm not that very good at giving speeches(due to Farzen being really, really, REALLY lazy to write anymore). So I'll just say thanx again. Do pray that Farzen will write more. I don't want to be deleted. Aheheh....

Homer...lol

p/s: Giving me a birthday present is impossible so you can give one to Farzen instead. If I were human I'd want a new laptop, a PSP, a Nintendo Wii, a new watch and more clothes. =P

p/ss: Or you could just throw a BIG birthday bash with loads of food. I would want a tray of lasagna, a moist chocolate cake, spaghetti and meatballs, ice cream, lontong(???), nasi kandar Line Clear(WTF??) and some sandwiches. Yeah!! That would be awesome. XD

An Exausted Poem

2009-09-29T01:10:00.005+08:00

I've been feeling pretty lethargic lately.
Metabolism's changing perhaps.
What I need is sleep.
And I need to sleep early.

I'm hungry.
Craving for burgers and chips.
A steak made from lamb or sheep.
If only holidays were daily.

I need to focus.
The stockpile of work that needs doing.
More come everyday.
This is causing me dismay.

I think it's all bogus.
To sit here moping.
But I wish that someone would say,
"I'll chase your pain away".

............................................... ~Afiq

Feeling down??

2009-09-14T20:55:00.004+08:00

DOWN, DOwn, Down, down

Everyone seems to be down at the lowest point in their lives. Lets start going

up, uP, UP, UP

until we reach the sky. Lets climb to a place where we can soar like birds and float in a sea of clouds. Let us be rid of the heavy burdens in our hearts. Lets be free.

Of rain and rainbows....

2009-09-06T02:59:00.001+08:00

Ah rain. The downpour signifies the sadness.....despair.....the longing and waiting for a sunny day to come back to us. Each droplet, an angel falls. But even though it will end, the overcast that comes after bears the heavy feeling upon us all. For one can always hope for rain to come again, for the storm to wash away the grin on a child's face, for the lightning that strikes the tree asunder and for the cry of pain from those who've lost hope. It will return....

But as the rain settles and the storm clears, a wonder can be seen. A magnificent display of happiness, joy and hope. A blend of Sol's rays and the misty air. A rainbow....

We cling to our salvation. We seek to determine the truth. We know it is temporary. We know that justice will not always prevail. We know that the world lacks decency. We know that bad people rule the world. We know that the villains and demons are plotting our demise.

We know.....but for that rainbow, for the rays of light streaming through the gaps in the clouds....I'd go through a storm any day.

I feel......

2009-08-27T18:39:00.005+08:00

Delighted

Elated

Anxious

Nervous

Excited

Afraid

Happy

Eager

Determined

Confused

Enchanting

Lovely

Perfect

8)

A hidden one found

2009-08-13T21:12:00.001+08:00

It seems that I'm not the only one who's been lacking in posting entries on his blog. All my friends don't seem to blog as frequently as they used to. Maybe adulthood isn't such a good thing. It takes away your time, drains your energy and suppresses your talent. As IF I'm an adult. Time is truly golden however. As life progresses, time becomes scarce. And here we are reminiscing about olden times, about what should have been and what should not. But I like to appreciate it. The hard times and the good ones.

Moving on to present time, I was rearranging my book shelf last week(every semester new BIG HUMONGOUS books replace the ones from previous semester!) and while I was rummaging through my crumpled and torn notepad I found a piece of paper with a poem on it. I wrote in a literature class last semester. It's supposed to be based on "The Secret Diary of Adrian Mole"; a novel that we had to read for that literature course. The poem was quite a spontaneous one. I know it's not that good but I actually like it. Hahaha. It's a simple rhyming poem and I'd like to share it with you guys. Here goes......

Of Morning & Beauty

Wake up in the morning,
Heard the jet plane soaring.
How great the smell of coffee,
As good as bread and honey.

Beauty on Pandora's face,
Makes my heartbeat race.
How I long to love,
You, my sweet white dove.

................................................~Afiq

Wish I could write something like this one day to my future wife. Lmao!!

Well perhaps better than this. Hahaha...

Who knew...

2009-08-06T21:16:00.002+08:00

That all that was needed to mend it, was a smile....

p/s: I am now officially addicted to oblong burger! lets get fat everyone!! hahahahaha.....

Case file designated: Outbreak....

2009-08-01T18:28:00.002+08:00

Inspired by true events....

Day 1

Universiti Teknologi MARA(UiTM) has declared a state of emergency. The 2009 pandemic of the H1N1 virus has spread within it's main campus in Shah Alam. The infected are already quarantined and the campus is to be shut down for a week to prevent the spreading of the disease.

Day 2

The medical center is handing out facial masks for students. News of the shut down has spread and students are already purchasing bus tickets home. WHO announced that UiTM is the main incubator for H1N1. The Malaysian government ordered the quarantine of all UiTM students to prevent a nationwide outbreak.

Day 3

Road blocks are set up to detain infected persons or those suspected to be carriers of H1N1. One student, Mohd Afiq codename the Jackal, is said to be missing from one of the many quarantine zones in Shah Alam. It is believed that he is a stowaway and is now named a wanted man. Many others have escaped the quarantine zones as well.

Day 4

Reliable sources say that Mohd Afiq is now safely at home in Penang. Those that aided him in his escape mainly Ahmad Khairul Haziq and his brother, are now considered traitors to the country and are to be shot on sight.

Day 5 - 8

More universities and colleges have been shut down due to cases of flu and mild fever. A massive panic attack has surged across Malaysia leaving many facilities and businesses to be abandoned.
UiTM students are now planning their return to Shah Alam. The Vice-Chancellor is prepared to deal with these students with extreme prejudice. Students can expect serious repercussions. Mohd Afiq is said to be leaving for Shah Alam tomorrow. Many others will join him as well. Surveillance detail has been heightened along the Federal Highway.

Day 9

Mohd Afiq's bus is said to have left Penang around 10.00 hours. This bus is presumed unable to make the drop off at the Puduraya bus terminal due to the 'Mansuh ISA' public rally/demonstration all around Kuala Lumpur. Most roads around Dataran Merdeka are closed to provide control. The police also hope to apprehend the Jackal should his whereabouts are determined.

At 15.00 hours Mohd Afiq arrived at Shah Alam. Further actions are yet to be taken.

Day 10 onwards

Events have yet to transpire.....

Acrostic & Haiku

2009-07-17T20:07:00.007+08:00

Today I had to submit my Creative Writing journal a.k.a diary. Miss Mel said that she wants to see one entry in and also Haiku which we had discussed about in our previous lesson on Wednesday. I included as well my acrostic poem which we had to do on our first class last week. The poem must be based on our full name & nicknames as well. I used only my real name 'Mohd Afiq' and did not include my nickname bestowed to me by my TESL colleagues 'Sheikh'. Hahahaha...

Here's my acrostic poem:-

Mohd Afiq

Moody and somewhat unpredictable,

Often worries for the sake of others,
Hates ignorance and injustice,
Desires to make the world a better place.

Affiliates with peace and tolerance,
Family and friends
I hold dear to me,

Question not on their love and sincerity .

...............................................

I know it doesn't quite sound like me but one can hope, right?! Lagi pun bila lagi nak syok sendiri. Hahaha!!!

Oh and here are the Haiku I've made. I know that Haiku structure of a three line poem with 5,7 & 5 syllables for each line respectively only applies to the Japanese language but I like to use it with English as I feel that it's a homage to the true form of Haiku. So here they are:-

I saw two old men,
Sharing tales and shaking hands,
A bond forever.

Two cats, black and white,
Claws and fur a fuzzy blur,
A rule of nature.

A tree, green and tall,
The wind blows, the bright leaves glows,
With strong mighty roots.

Now the next Haiku is not your conventional one as Haiku captures visual aspects of nature and uses imagery to convey it's meaning. I made this Haiku with a more abstract feel to it as it's based on a more psychological, emotional and intangible meaning. Here goes,

In darkness we dwell,
Shadows and dust creeps closer,
Bright sunlight is life.

I wonder what Miss Mel's comments might be.Hmmm...

Breaking the Silence & Stagnancy..

2009-07-16T01:15:00.003+08:00

And so it's been 22 days since I posted anything on this blog. It's not that I've lost interest in blogging or writing. It's just that I can't seem to be able to write anything about something these past few weeks. Just when the incandescent light bulb starts to illuminate on an interesting issue, my mind would seem to wander off into oblivion and I'd forget what I wanted to write about in the first place. Trust me, I have loads of drafts saved and each of them are far from complete.

Thus the question is, have I lost my touch? Did I even have it in the beginning? Do we lose interest on a hobby that easily? Is it even called a hobby if it's that easy? Whoa!.. guess I should have written "So the questions are"...

So I came up with some theories of my own that might explain about the cause of this phenomena:-

1. The last 2 months was pure joy of having to spend the semester break by eating scrumptious home cooked meals, reading novels on my comfy bed with the air conditioner on, hanging out with friends and family and running chores and being a chauffeur for my mom. Seriously, a blissful state can surely preoccupy your mind.

2. I can't write anything because there's too much to write about and I've lost track of every single topic and ideas, which seriously pisses me off(as if I'm such a good writer...hahaha).

3. I have limited access to the internet at home during semester breaks. What do you expect from a guy with 3 sisters and a mom who loves to play with Facebook, instant messaging and online games. Luckily my dad just loves to watch Discovery Travel & Living on Astro otherwise it would be an even worst battle(and battle we do!!) XD

4. And even now that the new semester has begun, I realized that too many times have I tried to write only to fall to the temptation of playing DoTA with my friends(they sure are good at persuading and pujuk-ing me to play). Well I guess resistance is futile. HAHAHA!!

Whatever the reasons are there is only one thing to bear in mind; I've overcome it. You want proof, well you're reading it. Let's hope that I'll be able to write more in the near and far future. I'm sure that there are bloggers, writers, journalists and novelists out there that have felt the same thing like I have. It'll definitely be good to know their secret at maintaining their steady pace of brain thunder-storming and keyboard typing motor skills. Ohh and not to mention the time to do so.

Nickelback Suxx!!!! - no offense..XD

2009-06-22T00:37:00.001+08:00

Howdy

2009-06-22T00:10:00.006+08:00

Long time no see. Well it is the holidays. Where's the fun in blogging when there's so much more to do. Right, right?!!

Yeah I know. Not. Blogging is fun.

I got loads to write but I just don't have the feeling to put it down. It's all about the heart you know. hahaha

Your words to me just a whisper

2009-05-31T19:56:00.003+08:00

Your words to me just a whisper
Your face is so unclear
I try to pay attention
Your words just disappear

'Cause it's always raining in my head
Forget all the things I should have said

So I speak to you in riddles
'Cause my words get in my way.
I smoke the whole thing to my head
And feel it wash away
'Cause I can't take anymore of this,
I wanna come apart,
or dig myself a little hole
Inside your precious heart

'Cause it's always raining in my head
Forget all the things I should have said

I am nothing more than
A little boy inside
That cries out for attention,
yet I always try to hide
'Cause I'll talk to you like children,
Though I don't know how I feel
But I know I'll do the right thing
If the right thing is revealed.

'Cause it's always raining in my head
Forget all the things I should have said

Staind ~ Epiphany

Of viruses and flus

2009-05-25T00:54:00.004+08:00

Gone is the fever but oh how I despise you flu. Don't worry. It's not the pandi flu. hehehe. Just the good ol' common cold, blocking the nose sometimes and letting it run like the Nile river at others. Curse you virus scum!!!

I'm also suffering from writer's block. It probably has something to do with the nose block and the fever. My brain's probably overheated and deprived of O2. Don't seem to have any ideas on what to write. So again I say, curse you virus scum!!!!

To anyone that reads this, please oh pretty please pray that I get well soon. It's been more than a week now and I'm sick of being sick!!!!

p/s: Hope the viruses won't retaliate due to me cursing them. Don't be surprised if I go on being sick for another week. Na'udzubillah

Saturday Night Fever!!

2009-05-17T21:08:00.004+08:00

It's the semester break. The holidays. Some are working. Some have tournaments to go to. Me on the other hand am having a very bad fever. Yup, sure sucks to be me. I can't seem to sleep these past few days. I get jittery and can't stop moving. It's like I'm dancing in bed (if such a thing is possible). You know the feeling when your whole body is aching and a slight breeze can somehow cause you pain.Hahaha. Maybe I'm just way over my head. Anyways, hope I can get well soon. Wouldn't wanna spend my holidays soaking and moaning in bed.

p/s: I'm also having loads of phlegm and mucus. Yup, horrendous. @.@

I'm HOME!!!!!!!

2009-05-10T18:19:00.004+08:00

I Can't Go Home Yet!!!! AARGHH!!

2009-05-07T18:36:00.004+08:00

Now it's the semester break. The holidays. Freedom..... But why do I feel sad? Maybe it's because I'm bored. Maybe because Pikuniku was such a blast that I'm sad it's over. Maybe it's because almost everyone in my batch has gone home. They're at their 'kampungs' and I'm still in Shah Alam waiting for the 10th. Bleergh!!! Because that's when I'll be able to go back home with my sister (her exam paper finishes on that day. Curse the examinations!!!).

Today I had to fetch my dad & sis at the bus terminal. My dad is going overseas to India, Pakistan and Bangladesh for 4 months (keluar dengan jemaah usaha atas Iman dan Amal). I'm very happy for him as it has been his desire to do so for a long time. I'm also sad because I wont be able to hang out with him this holiday and the house would feel a bit different without him. All is for the best. It is all for Allah SWT. It is all for Iman. It is for the benefit of all of His servants. People judge not those who go overseas chasing their degrees and masters for years. They judge not those who leave home for 3-4 months just to be on the running to become the next Malaysian Idol. They judge not those that leave home for months on business trips and all of the above, why? Because it seems highly beneficial. The payoff is clear. Money, fame, luxury. Everything that is tangible. Materialistic thoughts that corrupts and taints our Iman to the point that Islam seems irrelevant and unrelated to our aspects in life.

Some of my friends back home are now in Sri Lanka studying to become Hafiz al-Quran and Alim. You'd think that people would understand that they path that they have chosen is by the grace of Allah SWT. Not all of us are as lucky as that. But even that there are those that percieve it as non-beneficial or maybe even trivial. Some 'makciks' even said "..buat apa pi blajaq Hafiz smua. Esok nak kerja apa? Jadi siak kat surau, masjid ja lah. hmmm~"

Ya Allah, may you shine the light in all of our souls. Make us see our faults. Teach us the Truth. Amin. Islam is the dīn al-haqq - The way of life.

So now since I'm the eldest and the only son in my family, a HUGE responsibility lies upon my shoulders. Hahaha....more chores. XD

Have fun during the holidays guys!!!! See y'all next sem!!!

p.s: Sapa2 datang Penang sila2 lah roger ya. Jgn lupa singgah rumah aku. Hahaha....blh kita pi makan kat Line Clear!!

Examinations causes blindness!!!!

2009-05-04T12:42:00.007+08:00

Midin said "Aku dah x nampak dah exam. Aku nampak LEPAS exam."

Mamu said "Aku dah x nampak dah exam. Aku dok nampak jambatan Pulau Pinang ja la ni."

Matt Murdock aka Daredevil said "Aku dah x nampak dah exam. Sebab aku memang buta pun."

Scott Summers aka Cyclops said "Aku dah x nampak dah exam. Sebab kena pejam mata takut tertembak lecturer."

Illidan Stormrage said "I'm blind not deaf. Aku boleh DENGAR exam."

I said "Aku dah x nampak dah exam ni. Aku nampak exam next sem ja. AAARRGGHH!!!"

p/s: Avoid examinations if you want to preserve your sight.....and sanity. Hahaha!

p/ss: To all part 4 TESL students, all the best to you!! PTE esok!!!!

X-Men Origins: Wolverine...Spoiler Alert!!!

2009-05-02T15:42:00.004+08:00

Theatrical Poster

Finally I got to see wolverine last night. Went out with Nabil, K-own, Ija, Wan and Ida and boy did we have fun. We went to see the movie at Bukit Raja. The day before that Nabil, K-own, Panatoma, Lailah and I went to Sunway Pyramid after our Literature in ESL examination just to cool off some steam. At first we planned to watch the movie then but Pana decided that it would be a waste going to Sunway just to go to the cinema. So we went around window shopping and since we're all psyched up that Pana's leaving for Japan next semester, we decided to try some sushi. I'll admit that there somethings that I can swallow and just some I can't take. hahahaha....My stomach isn't quite what it use to be since then. But all in all we did have fun.

We arrived at Bukit Raja last night at around 6 p.m. Bought tickets for the 9.30 show and went around the small and compact Bukit Raja Mall hahaha. We had our dinner at the food court(they have good nasi goreng Arab there) and then it was showtime. Those who know me pretty well would know that I have a fascination for movie trailers. Yup, I even download them in HQ videos. hahaha. It's to bad though that I missed some of the trailers. We came in a bit late because it was really crowded. The one trailer that I managed to watch was Ice Age 3: dawn of the Dinosaurs and it looked highly entertaining and funny. Can't wait for that one to come out.

So here's my review of X-Men Origins: Wolverine. ever since i was a kid I've always been a fan of X-Men especially Wolverine and Gambit. I remembered feeling very disappointed that Gambit was never shown in all the X-Men films before. This movie marks the first on screen appearance of Gambit and I think they did him justice. The movie started a bit slow at first. They were action scenes that were pretty original (the Team X fight scene was pretty cool despite being a bit tacky). Then we find Wolverine a.k.a. Logan finding redemption and living a lowkey lifestyle as a lumberjack with his school teacher girlfriend. Talk about clean living.

The movie starts to take a turn when good old Sabretooth (with short hair...hahaha) seemingly kills Kayla Silverfox (Wolverine's girl whose actually a mutant and blackmailed into tricking Wolverine and play dead). The reason is to get Wolverine all mushy and walk down the path of revenge. This would give the opportunity for William Stryker to reinforce Logan's bones with adamantium making him indestructible. And so the quest of stabbing, jumping, decapitating, impaling, flying and swimming in search of destiny and revenge begins. Hahahaha....enough of the spoilers. Go watch the movie yourself and give your own review.

Out of five I'd give the movie four. The original score by Harry Gregson-Williams is awesome (I'm a huge fan of movie's original scores as well). The cinematography and graphics are cool especially during the fight scene with Wolverine and Sabretooth against Deadpool. Deadpool, Deadpool, Deadpool. This movie didn't do Deadpool justice. Gone is the cynical, wise cracking anti-hero to be replaced with a mute hybrid mutant (after Stryker's experiments on Wade Wilson; Deadpool's alter ego). He has all the powers of Wolverine, Cyclops, Wraith and so much more but seriously that's not how I hoped he'd be depicted. They should have kept the Ryan Reynolds version through out the whole movie. That would have been cooler. But as they say, "What's done is done".

Deadpool

I Rock!!!! 8D

2009-04-28T02:12:00.006+08:00

1. copy paste award on your blog once u get it

2. make an entry as if it is a Grammy award

3. tag 5 other bloggers

4. NEVER break the chain, pls.

My entry - Thank you Atiqah for this lovely award. Sorry that it took so long for me to do this, but I have been a bit busy lately and only just recently have I realized that you're giving me this award. So again I thank you.

I'd like to thank my manager Miss Samantha Sunday for all your help and guidance (and for being oh so ever pretty). What would I do without you.

Thank you so very much Swing Bowl Studios. Mr Ulric Boss, CEO. Producers Joseph and Jimbo Jongang. They're identical twins heheheh. People say two heads are better than one. These two SOB's sure done proved it. Thank you to the staff, makcik cleaners and pak guards. Keep up the good work and I'll definitely invite y'all to me birthday bash this October. There's gonna be confetti, blimps, trampolines, clowns.......oh wait.......no clowns.......I hate clowns. Lion tamers than. Hahaha.

I would also like to thank Mr Snoop Dogg over there for inviting me to that party last week. Hahaha. You know what I'm talking about. P.I.M.P. Fo shizzle my nizzle.

Ahh...I really am excited to be receiving this award. Thank you so very much. ( a girl in the crowd screams "Marry me Farzen!!!!") Well girl, me receiving this award makes me wanna marry myself. aheheh. If only it was possible you know. haha.

But last and never the least, I would like to thank all you fans out there. (and the crowd cheers!!!) That's right!!! I love you!!! And I love country music!!! oh wait....I'm sorry Miss Carrie Underwood for stealing your line. I just couldn't resist myself. hahaha!!!

And the award goes to...I tag:

1. Lily

2. Shaza

3. Fana

4. Midin

5. Herne

Note to myself....

2009-04-27T02:30:00.004+08:00

Please oh pretty please start sleeping early from now on......

before ending up like this dude here.....

or like her. FAIL!!!

zzzZZZZZZ..................

What's that at the corner?

2009-04-26T19:54:00.005+08:00

I know that these days everyone's an expert at JavaScript, Adobe Photoshop and whatever but please don't give harsh comments concerning the banner I've made. It's the blue one right at the top left corner there. It took me about half an hour to get it done. Please consider my feelings. I get hurt very easily. AHAHAHA!!!!

I'm still learning on how to customize my blog. Guess I'm feeling a bit insecure about my blog design. That's what you get when go blog hopping and stumble upon awesome blogs.

p/s: Hopefully I'll be able to come up with cooler ones. Anybody willing to tutor me on how to use Adobe Photoshop and JavaScript?

p/ss: If the banner is not there anymore, you know that I've gone sick of it.

Images: Tales & Tags

2009-04-25T16:26:00.003+08:00

was tagged by Hajar.

The rules are simple.
~Use Google Image to search the answers to the questions below. Then you must choose a picture in the first page of the results, and post it as your answer. After that tag 6 people...

i am:

lazy......hehehe

i really want to go:

~ahhh Paris.....oopss wrong pic....aheheh

Bonjour!

my favourite place:

Home Sweet Home!!! 8)

my favourite drink:

Lime Juice (limau ais lah!!)

my favourite food:

Mom's Lasagna.....Yuummm!!! Exquisite!!!

my favourite color:

Black.....(that sure is a nice Rolls Royce)

my favourite show:

coz I'm one of them.....hahaha.....NOT!!!

my hobbies:

Reading(Novels, poems, newspapers, etc.)

Play video games....WOOHOO!!!!

Surf the Net!!!.....dude.....totally.....

my wishes:

......and justice for all!!!!!

i would like to tag:
Azie
Asz
Jeng
Aina
Nashrah
K-own